Saturday, July 28, 2018

The Alone Time

Hey Guys!!!!

Its so long since I spoke to you. I had a pilgrimage to fulfill for my mother. So I left for 4 whole days. Isn't it lovely?????

You know when we travel, we meet people of different culture, caste, tradition, outlook and perspective and its a small window to a world which we have not thought about. 

So I met a youngster, very energetic with very positive outlook, while I was talking, I asked, "Are you happy with your life?" He replied without any hesitation that he was, he loved his job.

I asked, how do you spend your life?

He replied,  apart from my job, I have my personal time of one week, where I go for adventure sports within the country with other people whom I am meeting for the first time for this trip alone and then we have family tours, sometimes it might be weekends or trips with all family and friends.

Hearing him, I could feel his enthusiasm of life. That is when I felt that giving the quality time for our own Self can bring a lot of difference in our attitude towards the world - a positive attitude, a spring in each step we take.

But there is one issue, especially in developing countries and if we are not well off and especially if you are a woman or a kid, the chances of taking a break and going for a tour is next to impossible.

I was at one point in this situation and believe it, it was really frustrating and very much depressing - I was literally a housewife and every penny was counted. I couldn't spend a single penny without giving an account for it. I really was angry with my situation and the people around me. 

So while I was sitting at my lowest point, a paper and pen was there in front of me (it was my turning point - my destiny). I felt like writing a story, but unfortunately I ended writing my frustration, my anger, my hurt or whatever, (emotions cannot be put into words), so each and every minute details- without grammar or language I wrote in that paper and hid it.

The next day, I found some time and wrote all my feelings of that day or whatever I felt within me again, sometimes my hurt was so extreme that I used to cry while writing - real heartbreaking tears - big, fat tears (nobody knew about this activity of mine and I made sure nobody saw my writing too) and after each writing I felt better. 

After one week, I decided to read what I wrote and it was so funny, I really felt "What crap is this Meena, seriously, you have been frustrated and angry for nothing!!!" I felt so stupid about my feeling and the wasted tears for  simply nothing. Until then, I was blaming others for my hurt, my situation, after reading my crap I knew, I was the only one to blame and nobody else. 

That is when I knew, its important to bring out the feelings without a second or third party's presence and see it again or read it again after expressing it. That is the key - rereading or reseeing it on your own, only then you will know what is wrong with you, why are you sad, why do you feel lonely, why are you depressed.

From that day onwards, I became conscious of each and every action of what I was thinking, speaking and doing. Here only I the person was there - just the physical me and spiritual me. It was the alone time of me. Whatever the people say, its their choice, that did not matter to me, but how did I respond to them - the what I thought, spoke and did was censored. I made sure I use my thoughts, words and actions as sparingly as possible and as wisely  I could, because of that I was at peace with me. It was a beautiful situation. There was no tension within me, no hatred for others, no thoughts of tomorrow - That is what I call the time of life - the alone time. No money can give you that and you can have it without paying a single penny.

But one thing I can reiterate - You really need to have an "Alone Time" to make your life a happily ever after with or without a price tag - your choice.

Have a nice day.

Take care guys.

Meena






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