Wednesday, May 30, 2018

The Dream Job

Hey Guys!!!!

Today I was talking to my son, who is in search of his dream job. From my point of view, its a bit elusive for him. But I am not voicing it loud to him.

Seeing his quest, I felt, that I am seeing myself in his age, I too had the same problem. I really didn't like any job because I didn't know anything about any job. So I was not confident to put myself out there, thus making me a bad candidate to all the post I applied.

I was passionate about being a doctor, but unfortunately, circumstances forced me to drop it and search for a new passion, which I didn't have, but that does not mean that I should skip living. I took my life one day at a time and here I am to say the story of "The Dream Job"

When you think of a dream job, the first thing we think about is,

  • be happy about it
  • be expert in the field of work
  • being comfortable about the work
  • being at leisure always while working
  • highly paid
If all the above or some of the above is missing, then we still don't have  a dream job. Why don't everyone get a dream job? There is a reason.

We are going to dissect our personality. We are not made up of single trait for the whole of our lifetime. In a day, we have many personalities to ride on, that means we have completely changed now from when we were young. I will give you some examples of personalities, 

  • loving
  • adventurous
  • moody
  • jovial
  • sensitive
  • caring
  • understanding
  • angry
  • etc...etc...etc....
We have all the above and much much more traits in all of us, in short we all are multifaceted. So imagine we are a mix of all these, then will you be happy with one job? No, within no time, your dream job becomes a stale job. To make it a dream job, you will have to involve your heart into it. Never think or plan for each and every situation and action. Just feel it. Only love can touch all the facets of our personality. The best example is my life.

My Decision :-

 After losing my goal in life I decided to become a housewife, but the funny part is, I didn't know the abc's of cooking, cleaning, washing, whatever I am supposed to do in a household and I got myself married to a farmer with a large family and farm hands as an added bonus, 

My Situation :-
My husband really hated the sight of me. So he made sure I had no extra help. A big family of Father, Mother of 80 plus years, husband, 2 kids, farm hands, relations coming to meet father and mother and staying for a day or two. My entire childhood and adolescent years I had never worked for food or prepared food or done anything regarding housework, even wash a plate which I have eaten, we call it convent education.

My Workstation :-  We had no cooking stove or gas stove or any electronic gadgets (mixer grinder, refrigerator, washing machine, microwave oven, etc...) which helps a housewife to simplify her work. I had to cook with firewood and prepare food for each time of the day separately at that time, I had to wait to cook different curries as the utensils were meagre. I had to dehusk coconuts, collect firewood tramping down the plantation, the floors were plastered with cow dung, so I had to replaster it with cow dung every two weeks.  

My Attitude :-
It was not easy, but it was a challenge which I took it upon myself to make it successful. I would never have got into this situation if it were not for my husband. Since there were many people who relied upon me, I had nothing to do but live my life on a day to day basis, tackling my situations as it comes to me. It was my decision to get married to my husband unknowing his attitude to me. Just because he is a jerk doesn't mean that I should be a jerk too. I have my own culture and tradition in me. The tradition of "Giving with Love". I loved to give, not money, but my talent, my courage, my zest to live happily ever after.

The Miracle :-

  • Before my dad passed away, he bought me a Home Encyclopaedia book. This book really saved my life there. Each and every detail I followed by the book, like cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, washing clothes, plates, etc... cleaning fish, meat, poultry etc..... all in all this book was my first saviour.
  • My father-in-Law loved to always sit near the fire, so he ensured that I had fire all the time for cooking and he also made suggestions on how to cook.
  • My mother-in-Law helped me grind coconut to paste on the grinding stone and cleaned the yard and babysit my kids.
  • The farm hands used to bring firewood when they come for breakfast, lunch and before departure. 
The Result :-

I had to focus on each and every act I did keenly, so that I didn't bungle. If ever I did, its not one person or two who would have to miss food and to top it all, my family couldn't afford to buy food from outside. What a dilemma. 
When I served each and every food, I was scared to death to look at their faces, it was like jumping into a deep gorge, not knowing what the outcome will be. When they had the first bite, the smiles wreathing on their faces are priceless. According to them, there was something unique about my cooking, the way I conducted myself to all the family members, farm hands, neighbours, relatives,  they felt cherished, special. If you want to know the truth, I never once bothered to make them like me, I just did my duty with love and dedication and at the end of the day, I was happy because I brought a smile to all the people who came to my home, who had my food, who spoke to me. What more satisfying can a job be.

Even now, everyone has a good memory of me.

Do you know why it happens? Even in the midst of all odds, the underlying emotion in all through this is love, of giving, of helping, expecting nothing in return. When you are humble enough to accept that you do not know anything, but still take the risk to make it happen, then with the help of miracles or angels, we make it happen.

You know, until now, life put me in different situation like housewife, travel agent, social worker, teacher, writer. It was not my choice, but I was put there for a certain period of time, just to help, and like I said, I had zero knowledge of the field of work, but I did it with love, patience and humility. Now all of the above jobs have become my field of expertise.

I have never had one moment to regret my decisions, now I live a multifaceted life, where I get the satisfaction of helping many people in different walks of life and connect to many people in the process through different ways.

In short, I would say, A Dream Job is not a specific profession. Its a medium of life that connects you to people. If you are able to give your whole being to each and every action of your life with love, then that, I would say is "The Dream Job".

What do you think?

See you.


Monday, May 28, 2018

Five Senses, A Necessity????

Hey Guys!!!!

First lets check, what the five senses are :-

  1. Eyes
  2. Nose
  3. Ears
  4. Tongue
  5. Skin
Now, why do we need these five senses?
Ans :- To see, smell, hear, taste and to feel. Its cute isn't it? 

But when the stomach rumbles or the heart pains or the breathing acts up does these senses have any role? Do they know that there is a stomach or a kidney or a heart or whatever inside the body who is working very hard day and night, without fail, in the first place who help to survive us, making our life a better place to live?

Ans :- I as Meena or we as human being look in the mirror and see a very beautiful face and see a scar or an acne or a dark circle or a mole or whatever we see we immediately wail and whine and turn the world upside down to correct it, that goes for the other senses. But we would not even know the ailments inside our body unless its too late. 

What does that mean?

Our world revolves around the five senses, we are conscious of each and every nuance of ours as well as our neighbours flaws with these five senses. We criticize ourselves and the people around because of these five senses, we hate because of these five senses, we are sad because of these five senses, we live a life of want because of the five senses, etc..etc..

 In short the five senses creates all the bad of life (just evaluate yourself), they have become the controllers of our life? We have become the slaves of our senses. What do you think? Should we let our senses make slaves of us or should we really break this dependancy of our senses?

What do you think? And decide and live accordingly, but the ultimate choice is yours.

See You.


Friday, May 25, 2018

Setting Goals

Hey Guys!!!

Do you know what I need in life, total freedom to follow my passion. That means we should have a true passion to make our life meaningful and a total freedom to do it.

So when you set goals, try to connect it with your passion and the chances are you can reach it within no time.

My thoughts :-

If ever you set a goal, make sure that its not achievable or out of your reach. That is when your mind and heart strengthens itself to take that leap of faith.

Which faith?

The faith in your self, that you can achieve it no matter what and that will be the ride of your life.

Believe it or not, the moment when you reach that summit or the destination or the goal, you will learn how priceless it is and don't stop there, set the next non achievable goal, because all goals are achievable within no time,  but the key word is "Passion".

Do you want to hear my story?

I had a very big passion, to become a doctor and save as many people as possible and mostly poor, I didn't want to marry but my dad was dead set against it, the reason he told was, "Meena, you are a girl, you need to marry and if ever you become a doctor, you cannot be a dedicated one because you have a family to manage which will hinder your career. You will have to choose one but not both

 and that happened when I was about to apply for  the entrance test, still I applied for it without my parents knowledge, but unfortunately, circumstances (the Supreme Power) too stopped me from writing that test, thereby producing a heartbroken Meena.

While growing, one thing I learned from my father, "Whatever you do, do it passionately, even though if you are not passionate about it." I know its weird but believe it, in my life it helped a lot, if it helps you can try it too.

So I started my life with a clean slate because I had to start over with nothing of my own, a blank Meena. I had to find myself and this is my journey, a learning journey, life puts something in front of me and I make the best out of it with passion. One thing I guarantee, the end result, I was happy in doing it and the party who received it was happy too. Its all a matter of having a heart.

Ready to take the plunge?

See you.


Thursday, May 24, 2018

Nobody Needs Me

Hey Guys!!!!!

"Nobody Needs Me" is a dialogue or a thought every human being goes through at one point or several points in their life. I too had it several times. Its natural. But how do you face it, that is what makes the difference.

Saying it loud helps, I didn't mean shout it, just answer
Q :- What is the problem?
A :- I feel unwanted, I feel alone, I don't know... I feel like dying.....
Q :- But why? What made you think that? Is it because somebody did not acknowledge you or appreciate you or left you out?
A:- I don't know...... its the feeling of sadness its just coming up, I don't know, I can't put it into words. I don't know how to explain.
Q:- Okay, can you say what happened today in your life since you woke up?
A:- Say all the details.... every single minute one, even if it is just nothingly nonsense, just say it...
Q:- There lies the answer, a small minute matter triggered this thought.

I will give my life experience

It was long time back when I was studying in college. I met a girl, who was actually in my class and in the same hostel, but I hadn't met her even after studying there for one year, but quite accidentally we met and we started talking and in between she told me that her parents died in a car crash and she is living with her aunty and her family.

Afterwards, she started coming by whenever she is free, but she had her set of friends, who were very possessive of her. But seeing that she was making other friends, they didn't like it and started spreading bad rumors about me, which made me feel sad because at 17, we are in the prime of making friends and when its messed up, I don't think so we feel happy about it, we feel one big hole within ourself, where we would like to hide in alone. But what I did was, I went to the chapel because it was my hole to hide and asked all the above listed questions and I know its crazy, believe it, you are free to talk in a chapel because you are alone there and when you hear it clearly with no grammar and full of emotions for sure, you will get the answer that its not my problem but someone else's. This talk brought clarity, I didn't do anything wrong and as truth always prevails, I just left a happy person. You know, you can write your problem and read it, you will surely gain clarity.

Since I found the reason for my unhappiness, I shrugged because I can't do anything to clear my name, but I can choose to be happy for being famous. In the end, everybody came to know the actual truth - an extension of jealousy and I the same then and after.

So now you know what happens when one miserable person acts upon their misery, they make others miserable, but you have a choice whether you want to take up on it or just flit away from their miserable missiles, its your choice.

The Message :- Nobody can make you unwanted, nobody can make you lonely or alone, nobody can hate you, only you can make that of you. You can decide you are unwanted, you can make yourself lonely, you can make yourself alone, you can make yourself hate you. Its your choice.

 If you know who you are, then you don't need anyone to acknowledge it, just live your life happily, ever after...... without hurting others...

See you soon.


Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Go For It

Hey Guys!!!!

You might be wondering, what does "Go For It" means.

Well!!!!! when we were small we had only small goals and each and everyone around us motivates us to "Go For It". You can do it. And we have gone for it and achieved it too.

But as we grow older, we decide or choose according to the dictates of our experiences, society and above all, anything which has no risks or pitfalls - The result - Unhappiness, a voidness, something missing.

Why is that?

Its because there is this one key ingredient which is missing - Passion to "Go For It". I would like to say an incident which happened in my life.

As a rule, I am not a great cook or a home maker or a person who knows to clean her own room or for that matter her own room or wash clothes. So I ended up in a place where I had to be all of these and more, I became the lady of an ancestral house with parents who are 80 plus with workers to help in the field and family members going in and out of the door and my duty to manage the household with kids of my own 6 months and 2.6 yrs and a job as a teacher for me.

Not one single person to help, I had to do it on my own each and every single task

My schedule starts at 2.30 am

Immediately after waking, the only thing I asked was, "God help me out." Imagine a person with no general idea of a systematic housekeeping can manage this big a task, its like watching the big ocean from the shore, its endless, its unmanageable and its not conquerable, right, but I say from experience, everything is possible, just "Go for it." 

So first task, I undertook was cooking lunch for 12 members, the menu usually varied but in general it was - Rice, some vegetable curry, non veg and a gravy.
Then porridge for my 6 month old son and breakfast consisting of North Indian or South Indian dishes which my husband, my father-in-law and my elder son of 2.6yrs old had and the workers and the mother-in-law ate only tapioca and fish or meat or something non veg, which has to be prepared along with the other breakfast simultaneously and then the time for the wake up call for my kids. They are just babes, we will have to pamper them and wake them up smiling after that I had to make sure that they go to the toilet and given bath and given breakfast and dressed for school with their lunch box ready and a snack box for the younger one. By that time, the school bus comes to pick me up and my children, luckily, the driver waits for me, so I didn't take a single day leave.

When I return back home, the whole plates from breakfast to lunch would be stacked in the basin, the clothes for washing in another big heap, but one best thing which I would thank the gods was, my mother-in-law made sure to keep the house and yard clean, so that people don't think bad about them and my mother gifted me with a washing machine. Its not necessary, that only family members will help or friends will help or the people we helped will help. These guys will not be there for you when you want them, but believe it or not, there will be hordes of people as guardian angels, just give them the chance to help you out.

Do you know why I said this? It doesn't matter what the task is, how big the task is or how incapable we are for the task, if you want it to happen, just go for it and the rest, will join with you to help you fulfill your goal.

Hope you understand the power in you, the passion in you, just, "Go For It."

Take care

See you.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Society - A Necessity

Hey Guys!!!

You know, when you are full of ideas, you wouldn't know where to start or what to start. But one thing is for sure, you will have to get off from the regular life to know the difference between the way you live and way you can make your life live. Get to see the people other than you, your family or your immediate society, believe it, its an eye opener.

The society where I live are people who are more bothered about appearances than anything which has depth. There is a saying which says that if your wife is from Cochin, its better to meet her family on the street than in her house because she would not have anything commendable there. Its not only in one place now its a part of society - thinking of me and my immediate family, the rest are outsiders.

So after a long time, I travelled to the slums of Mumbai. The amount of work, the number of people living and working there, the busy streets, the small pathways, the way they manage their space, the ceremonies with all the paraphernalias, the buildings are so jammed to each other, with so little space that its incredible the kids have any space to play other than the space before their homes which might be one foot and a half width space and in some areas no sunlight. But the best part is these kids are happy and at peace with their existence. All are happy in each other's company in this area.If ever you need to learn co-existence, we should go to the slums. 

Look at our body, each body parts are put together and they are literally taking space of other body parts and even then they work harmoniously, only then our body can work smoothly and perfectly, that is what we call co-existence. Each body part has its own duty, likewise each individual has its own duty, he/she has to do it without conflict or else, the society would not work smoothly.

Its important you are aware of the fact that people are not an outsider but a part of you, who completes you. Respect them and help them and the life will be far easier. Don't put any religion to any people please......

When you see the outside world, we will know what we are gifted with - Abundance, Space and above all a society. Cherish them.

See you guys.