Friday, April 6, 2018

Never Cross The Invisible Boundary

Hey Guys!!!

As a human being, we have several boundaries - the boundaries of countries, lands, seas, air,  houses, rooms, personal space and even relationships.

Now, why do you need these boundaries?

For the smooth running of relationship between countries, people and between family members.

I do not know much about history about creating boundaries and I am not going into it. I am much more into getting into the ways and means to have a life with happily ever after.

One day, I met a mother of two boys and she was complaining that she does not want to welcome one of her son's friend (been together from childhood till 27 yrs) .

I was a bit surprised, because this long a friendship, does bring out a special affection, so I asked her, "Really!!!! Why?"

She replied, "This boy, whenever he comes to my house, comes directly to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator and checks out whether there is any food to eat and if there is anything he takes it without permission and have it and then comes to the living room and keeps his leg on the sofa. I really get so mad of his behaviour, I correct him for not sitting properly, but I cannot say don't open the fridge. Its not because I don't want to give him food or anything. But if it is my children, I would never allow them to do it."

Yes, its true, we also don't go an open a fridge in other people's house or even friend's house, isn't it, only if requested, we do it. Have you thought why?

Yes, the boy has overstepped his boundary. 

In human culture,  with respect to relationships, we have many restrictions, but if we are within the purview of our boundary, then we don't feel suffocated, but if we plan to get added perks, then believe it you will have to cross the boundary. 

At first, it will not be a big problem, but eventually, it will become a millstone around your neck, believe it, you will lose your own self respect, your own credibility. Is it worth it?

Do you know, why you overstep or when you overstep? 

Its because of your mind. Your mind says, "its ok to overstep, its not a big deal. Who will know it? Its not exactly overstepping, its just helping or some such dialogues" 

Guys!!! Better believe it and imprint it in your heart and your brain, its "Not Okay" to step on other's premises, physical or virtual, personal or otherwise, other than if its an emergency.

So never ever hear your mind's dialogue, it will ruin you. When the mind opens to dialogue, just shut it up.

Everyone has an inbuilt boundary defining system, when it comes to personal spaces and relationships and the defining organ is your heart where your heart says yes and no to each and every action, word and thought, just hear that.

Well how do you hear the heart?

Let me give an example, A woman comes to your doorstep and asks for money and the mind will say, "These type of people are cheaters and liars. There are many people who needs more than her, so just say no."

But something from within you says or urges, "please give her something..please give her something... Its like a plea" (Its a deeper voice). That is the voice of the heart.

When we are planning to do wrong, the voice from within is very loud, Like, when I want to say lies white or black, jokingly or seriously, this plea comes from within, "Meena, please say the truth, no...no...no...please don't lie....don't lie...don't lie...."  That is the voice of the heart and if you start hearing it and following it accordingly, believe it you have a far smoother life than what your plans for life will be.

So try to hear your heart and you won't overstep the boundaries and the best and easy way to do that is use minimum words than what is necessary and be truthful. 

Just try it out.

Bye.

Meena

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