Saturday, September 26, 2015

I Fear, Do You?

Hey Guys!!!

I would like to speak about Fear. You know, fear of darkness, thunderstorms, stray dogs, etc...etc...

I had all these and much more, I was not aware of it until one fine morning, a very old priest of my father's acquaintance took my pulse and said, "Mr. Mathew, your daughter is a frightened kid. It would be advisable, if you could give her juice of Naruneendi (Hemidesmus indicus). It is actually an ayurvedic medicine, which had no taste but some taste, I cannot explain the flavour of the taste. I had consumed two bottles, before returning to the boarding school.

As time passed, I was wondering, did the medicine really work? And I would say, not really. I had all the fear which I had before but there was one difference, I was aware of it. When the fear raises its head in me, I would know and analyze it,

"with fear, will the problem in front of me get solved?"


"Then what is the point in fearing?, just face the problem and let it happen, whatever is supposed to happen."

And the funny thing is, nothing which I feared did happen.

So, then what is the point in fearing? To make known that you are human? Forget it. There are loads of things that make us human, don't lose your health and sleep for fear.

You know, fear is natural, everyone should have it or else I would say they are not normal, but the courage to overcome it is what makes the difference in life. They can live their life in full.

I will say my story, a real life experience, which I had yesterday. I hope not those who know me personally read this.

So the story is thus.

I owe a lady Rs. 10,000/- and I had only 1400/- in my account. I had already given word that I will give her the money yesterday and for me, my word cannot be broken. So I told God, "Look God I need the money to pay her, so help me out and I just left it off and continued my work. I told my friend about it and she was a bit sceptical about it because we all know, this God business is a bit queer and its something undefinable and faith cannot be mixed with daily needs, etc...

But for me God, is more real than my own bodily Self. But no one will understand it. So I am not going into that. Anyway, after half an hour, I received a message that one of the clients has paid me the payment for my service which he is planning to take in the month of November and I really got cross eye, seeing the amount because it was exactly, the amount I needed. And that saved the day.

That is what life is, we are living in the unknown and every moment ahead is darkness, no matter, if it is day or night, the next moment of our life is as new as a new born babe and we will have to face it, no matter who you are, whether a prince or pauper. But if you have someone to hold your hand, through all the phases of life, every moment both good and bad, then I would say, don't let that go. And that is where the eternally present God, comes. But You will have to give Him a chance. If you take upon yourself to drive your life to the destination you feel right, then fine, because God can sit idly in the back seat of your life, and then, don't blame God, for not getting your plans and ambitions right.
If God is the driver then, there is no need of Fear, no need of Anxiety, no need of thinking and planning ahead, its just a simple life to be enjoyed, no matter, what the situation is. So think about it. I am happy, how about you?

Take care.


Saturday, September 19, 2015

Not Faithful? Be Faithful

You know, 90% cases, reported  for marriage break ups is Faithlessness. Like cheating on your spouse, having an affair with another person, etc....etc....

Why does it happen? Well, to know that we will have to check on the basic fact about oneself. It is all connected with the person Me (in your case, its You)

What is faith?

Its the belief of what one have of oneself, of God or of others. It is usually a positive belief, only good things. And it usually filled within the heart & mind so tightly that there would not be an iota of doubt.

Now, when we have a small speck of doubt in our belief, it becomes the truth and we find ourselves facing this doubt, just like looking in a mirror. I will give an example, you have been invited for a big party and you want to look the very best, but, as the days get closer, you get to get tensed, thinking of all the possible mishaps like a small pimple on the face or a car break down or whatever usual fears and lo behold!!! exactly that happens. So whom should we blame, the soap or the cream which you regularly use or the driver who drove you to the party?

There is no one to blame, except you. Its you who creates all this and that is what happens. If you feel, that being with another man or woman, your husband or wife has a good chance of going astray, it happens as such. So, who is the culprit? You.

Yes, there are times, when there are genuine mental sickness, but that case is rare, which can be treated. 

But, most of the time, in life don't bring a single doubt in your heart with respect to anybody. Even the taxi man or the green grocer or children or whoever you are dealing with. They might say untruth, but believe that they would never say lies and that is what happens, it will become the truth.

We cannot change a person, by our words or actions, but we can make it happen by our faith. So next time, think your spouse can never be faithless to you, unless, you are.

Let me conclude, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Mathew 17:20

Take Care.


Friday, September 18, 2015

Save 10 and Make 100? Forget it!!!!

Hey Guys!!!!

I hope you are enjoying life. Well, I am.

What is your criteria of enjoying life?

To have more money than you can spend? or To have good Health? or To visit places? or To be Happy always?

What is happiness?

Oh!!! its complicated to answer this because its a mix of all for some, but for others, it would be specifically some things which, one do not have. It is natural.

I am writing this because, I would like to see everyone happy all the time in their life. 

What is Life's happiness?

Its not very easy to define life's happiness. But I can simplify it by an Egg Omelette.

The Preparation :-

  1. Break an egg into a bowl. 
  2. Whisk it
  3. Add salt & whisk again
  4. Pour it on a hot frying pan greased with oil 
  5. Sprinkle some pepper powder when half cooked
  6. Cook it until done
And the end result - a perfect Omelette. If you love omelette, then it will be a beauty to the eyes, flavour to the nose, perfect taste to your tongue and softness to your touch and lastly, your stomach will get to fill with a delicious food, which will bring joy to the heart.

That is life's happiness, always sense (sight, hear, smell, taste and touch) oriented. So, if something or the other is missing, then what happens to happiness? does it stop working? No way, and that is what I want to focus. The one  and the most important aspect of life which has deep roots in everyone's life - Money. It doesn't bring fulfillments to the senses except a thought to the mind "Do not worry, I have money"

There is an old saying in our Keralan culture that "Even Eagle cannot fly over money." which means, money is everything, it help us reach greater heights.

But is it true?

I don't think so.

I will give a small incident of my life, how money amassed went into thin air. My parents, mom & dad were hard working people, especially my mom. She used to save as much she can, by skipping simple luxuries like eating ice creams, chocolates, or milk with chocolate or good food for herself, (but for us, we had all) and she would bargain with the shop keepers and get discounts, etc..etc.. so that she could reduce the expenditure and have more money to deposit into her income. Years passed and she earned a lot. Yes, its true, she earned a lot.  After 5 years, she decided to open the safe box, which was with my father. She gave all her money to my father for safe keeping because that is how Indian Marriage System works. Anyway, my father gave back the money, in one sentence. "The Money Has Been Stolen". Just imagine the shock of my mother. Don't think my father spent it, no he didn't spend the whole lot, but yes, some. 

We cannot blame both my father or my mother for the loss because, they didn't know the working of Money, in fact the working of the Universe with respect to all matter.

Now Guys, I want you to look around yourself -  the nature. There is nothing stagnant, its always moving. The sun rises and sun sets, the water cycle, the day cycle, the life cycle, etc....etc... If anything is static (Rocks), then its non living. If it is stagnant(water, air), it will stink. If it gets accumulated (leaves, fruits, vegetables) it will rot or it would not be of any use, if not used wisely. And that is the case of money too. What we have is for that moment and for that time alone, if we do not utilize it, then it will be taken from us because it has to move off.

I learned this lesson when I was young. I know, we should save money and not spend extravagantly and all that, but with this simple fact like money moves off, which I have stated, then how will we be able to save money?

Exactly, you cannot. Unless you take the money and invest it in some form or the other, but not in the cash form.

Now, imagine, you have invested your money very wisely and have accumulated much more from it, then what next? You are happy?

As I told, happiness can be had when all the senses get to enjoy the fruit equally. So how come money get to fulfill "All" the senses?

Simple, - By Sharing. Today, I met my friend Louisa, after 6 months, a French Lady, who I found she was very happy and giving very much good happy feeling all around. She recited a story about another French lady, Anna, whom she met in Malaysia, who was retired from service. (Well, this story, she said quite accidentally, when I asked what did she do when she was in Malaysia.) Now back to the story. Anna draws a pension of 300 Euros every month (with this pension, she would not be able to live in France).  So she stays in Malaysia. Her house rent in Malaysia is 70 Euros and the rest is for food and other necessities. We know, its very difficult to manage with just 230 Euros, and to think that she has been managing like that for sometime, it really awe inspiring, isn't it? Anyway Louisa met her quite accidentally while touring and Anna invited her to stay in her house, while searching for a job in Malaysia. So Louisa decided to stay in her house. She was not aware of her situation, until she happened to stay there. So she decided to give the rent for the room (as she pays for the hotel) on a daily basis. Luckily she got a job within a week with free food and accommodation. Even then, Louisa would come and stay with Ann, take her shopping to buy dresses, food items and take her to good restaurants, which she does on a monthly basis for 6 months. Seeing the expression of Anna, the smile, the tears of thank you, cannot be compared to anything, it is the love overflowing from one soul to the other that is what makes the difference, it fills the heart of both the persons, it will fill the holes of unhappiness, bringing a glow from within.

Here, Louisa cannot use the whole amount on her own, if she dies, she cannot take all the money and investment she has made in this Earth with her to the grave, but when she is in the grave, she can at least feel happy, that she was able to bring a smile to another living soul intentionally and that is the best investment. That is how, money brings happiness, peace and contentment.

This type of investment helps you in the long run, you would never be in a situation, were you are short of money, you would never have to worry about sickness because the hormones produced when you are happy is an antibiotic for sickness, you are never in debt, because, just like we withdraw from the bank which we have deposited by wise investment, the sharing of money with another needy person is a wise investment with Life Force bringing positive energy around you, attracting whatever you need unto you, without your signature, without your asking. Isn't it cool?

You know, there are some times, when you are not aware that you are going to need money the very next moment or the next day, and it might be a lot of money you need. But your life force knows it in advance and gets it for you. (I know you have raised your brows. But its true!!!) So then, why are you saving? Why are you bargaining and depriving of someone else's income? Why are you tensed and work very very hard to amass wealth? Have the courage to let yourself go, with all the talents, money and time. And get ready to see the show.

I will say one of my personal experiences of such an instance, In my bank, I had Rs. 80/-. One of my friends asked to loan her some money in the morning, which I refused because I didn't have. When I reached  office, I got a phone call from a client, who said that she is going to deposit a small amount in advance for the services as confirmation she is planning to take from me  (This service, she had asked 3 months back and I had completely forgotten about it). Thirty minutes later another call came from the college of my son saying, he has been selected in the college for the course he had applied for, but for confirmation, I will have to pay the first instalment the very next day, which was a big amount. And I was able to pay with the money I got from the client without any qualms and I didn't have to worry for a single moment.

As the Bible Quotes, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"Mathew 6:26

So, what do you think? Do you feel happy saving that extra 10? or is it worth all the juggling of words for bargaining? Live your life guys and peacefully and happily ever after. Try to share what you have and don't hold on to good things, thinking that you can keep it with you. You are in truth holding on to thin air. Open your hands and your hearts to the nature around you, to the people around you, its worth all of it and much more.

Think about it. And decide however your heart says.......

Take care.


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Shut Up and Row the Boat Until 20

Hey Guys!!!!

How are you? Today, I would like to talk about kids from the perspective of a mother or let me say parents. I met a mother who was taken to the police station because she asked her daughter to clean her room. Just Imagine!!!!!!

In India, there is one famous saying coming out from 99% of the elders "Children, we too once rowed the same boat." Yes, its really true, the meaning of the saying is, every parent was once a child. They know each and every stage of life, the difficulties passed, the joys of life, the decisions made, mistakes faced, etc...etc.... and reached the prime of life - now. So, they can say it without doubt, they have indeed rowed the boat.

But, have you wondered, why these guys including me, get agitated, when the kids make mistakes?

I will say a story, which happened in my life, when I was young, just for an example and the difference between a child and a parent.

Years back we had a tape recorder, but during those times, the power plug was one in each room. So this tape recorder held the pride of place at night in our bedroom, but unfortunately, the power plug in our bedroom was faulty. So, my dad connected two wires and connected to the plug from the next room.

After prayer and dinner, we were in the bedroom hearing music, when it suddenly stopped. So I jumped out of the bed and went to rectify the problem by connecting the joint firmly and I got electrocuted, to be frank, my first experience of electric shock and I immediately put it down, and without speaking I returned to bed. Seeing my failure, immediately my brother, a very smart boy came and got electrocuted, he too did the same as me, but I knew he too got my experience, since I was watching him. Anyway, my dad, came and connected it and he too got electrocuted and he said it loudly, that it has shock and warned us to not handle the wire again. Note the difference in the above incident? Children, do not say openly the mistakes, but elders do, thus avoiding others to not get hurt.

That time, I didn't feel anything except for feeling safe because I knew how it feels getting an electric shock, but if I had not known that experience, then I know, how I would react. Want to guess, what it would be?

I will anyway word it for you, your thought and reaction.

"Why not, why can't we work with electric plugs and wires? We are old enough to know and decide what is good. Isn't it?"

Remember, the Elders speak, because they have First Hand Experience of it...

Now, the most important phase of anyones life is during the teen age 13-19 yrs. This girl is 17 years. The peak time to feel the unfairness of life. Its really a very crucial time of human life. You might wonder why so. 

The only time to fall in and out of love within a blink of an eye. And especially falling in love part. 

Remember, Its not only you, who have had this experience - Falling in Love, its been there from the beginning of humanity. The parents, grand parents and everyone, who glower at you  when you are in love. 

But to fall in love is an experience,  Its simply wonderful, Its like we are in heaven, nobody can hurt us, In Bible we have heard the saying, "If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also." Luke 6:29. This happens, when we are in love, nobody can hurt us, nobody can anger us, no grudge can be kept within the soul. 

Now you know why, in all the Holy Books, "Love" has so much prominence.

I would want everyone to have that experience, but unfortunately, there is a big mistake everyone make when falling in love. The first thought that comes to mind is, "This is life, I have met my soul mate, I have reached my destination, I have found what I was searching for. Now, I do not want to be separated from my loved one. So, we are ready to let go off all our ambitions and inhibitions without any conditions" It is like giving a blank signed cheque to our first love. That is when elders interfere, saying, you are wrong and then starts a living hell - A nightmare.

Love is a smoke screen. It will blanket the basic truths from our sight, but it will lift, when we use the freedom, just like we had with our parents and family. He or she is a new person attached to us within a moment's notice. They do not know our likes, dislikes our weakness or strengths, they behave as they do in their family and you behave as you did in yours and it clashes, that is when your love would start getting the first bite. That should not happen, the biting part, that is what the elders want to make you understand, which sometimes would not be refined to your taste.

Remember " The Rowing Boat " when in Love  . Remember the elders are right, and do not open your mouth to talk against them, their advice. Do not think or decide until you complete 19 and start 20. When you reach 20 and still feel the same, then go ahead, the chances are surviving are more without biting dust of crap love.

Do you want my experience? I decided at 24 and still I did bite dust. That is Life, and I am happy because, it was my decision and live with it.

Now back to life until 20. Focus on Three Things:- 

1. Your family:- be open with them with your feelings because they know, the symptoms as I am explaining to you, they can give the right direction. In the end, only they will be there for you whether you have accepted or gone against them.

2. Your Studies :- Only then, you can stand on your own two feet instead of none when you cross 20 - Job is a necessity, no matter how rich your family is, only education can bring food on your table and strength to your confidence. Its a back up till you reach your grave, with or without family's support.

3. Pray to God :- Have faith in God. Remember, you might have big big plans, but there is one thing we do not have control - our life. But God has.

So, returning back to the daughter who dragged her mother to the police station, its not the daughter's fault or her mother's, its the fault of her age because, the policeman told, secretly to the mother, "Sister, we have seen worst cases than this one, even though we know, she is in the wrong, just take a different route to make your child obey you, than saying it bluntly."

 That is what is missing from the elders and parents alike, including me - refining truth. You know, after going through all the experiences first hand from day one of life, one tend to forget refinement. Its better to be open and finish it off than cloaking and pampering the sensibilities of the young adolescents. But know one thing, refined or unrefined, truth is the same. So do not react against elders for saying the truth and once again I say, just shut up until 20.

Just look back, when you were toddlers, you didn't have a care. When you were in kindergarten, it was the same and your childhood, - it was liberating, not a care, sleep, eat, play and study. But when you stepped to become 13, the life started to feel unfair. How come, one fine day, you get to feel life unfair, when until 13, it was fine? Don't you think it weird? Same father, same mother, same family, their big mouth and same circumstance, then how come one fine morning, it became different?

Its because you changed, the changed happened within you. Its in your body, extra hormones started being produced within you. That you should know. You should be aware of it. It is natural, but  that change should be lived very carefully because, this is the time, when you make decisions - rash or wise or whatever. 

Again, I would recommend,  don't make any decisions until you turn 20, wise or otherwise because you have not lived your life, to forecast the result of your decisions. But when you reap the result, it would be too late to make any changes. So, once more, Let God and parents or elders do it for you and Shut up until 20.

Life is to be lived, loved, obeyed along with the one single important duty - studies, until 20. 

So, once again I say, If you can shut your mouth until 20. Then you have a better chance to row the boat of life without much hazards. Anyway, I know what you teens are thinking... 

"Why Can't I ......?"

Well, as for the daughter of the mother, she hates her mother, stopped her studying and sits simply and watches television from dawn to dusk... I do not know, whether its a sad thing because we elders would sigh and shake our heads and say...

"Experience is the Best Teacher." 

Open your Mouth, Decide, Live and Welcome to the Rowing Club. Because I too am in it.

Best of luck Guys!!!


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

No Promises Please!!!!

Dear Guys!!!

Today, I do not know whether I should be sad or glad. My thoughts flew to my dad, who was one of my best friends.

Though it has been 27 years since he passed away, there are somethings which I learned from his life experience and the one that really moulded is me his death.

My mother cried from the moment the doctor gave the verdict, he has passed away.

She cried for months, followed by years.

Slowly, I came to know, that my dad could not fulfill 90% of his promises he made in his ife, the 10% he fulfilled was for me and it was 100% of his promises he made to me.

Then and there, I decided never make promises, which cannot be fulfilled, yes, I understand, that its simply words.

But behind those words are attached the hopes and expectations of not one, but many persons, remember, each action always ensues a chain reaction.

I have always wondered, what my dad would have thought when he became a soul. Well, I cannot be a judge of his character, but if I were in his place, I would have thought, "I wasted my life, I was not able to bring joy to myself."

Why joy to Oneself?

When you are able to keep your word, when you are able to help someone, when you are able to utilize your maximum potential and some more, then it brings a joy and contentment from within oue Self. That is what makes our life a success. That is the only thing that matters in the end.

Anyway, since I am no judge of anybody and from my experience, I would say, my dad might have fulfilled his promises. If not, then he would be thinking of ways and means to fulfill his promise,

You might be wondering, why does he want to, fulfill when in the grave, its just that, when we get the promise, we to remember or remind ourselves of the promise to be fulfilled or not fulfilled, its a sigh going out from our very soul and that sigh can really breach the very foundation of all barriers, to be frank, even the very foundation of heaven, then imagine, how much will normal souls would be affected!!!!

 well, who knows, my father might be reborn to complete his destiny of previous lives.... Yuck!!! That's disgusting. Forget it.. I do not even wish for my worst enemies for a rebirth in this suffocating world.

Anyway, I do not like to come back, even if this life was heaven.

Do you know, why I said this, do not make promises or else be prepared to get yourselves shackled for another 50 odd years in this world.

So, how are you guys? I hope you all are keeping fine.

Take care.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Social Network and Youth - Speech

Life is a post with likes,/ love, /follow,/ friends, /comments /& share./
To get to know someone without actually seeing them in person./
To express oneself within nano seconds./
Editing & Deleting posts, when they don't make sense./
That…/ is our Post Millenial Generation /– The Youth/

Honourable Judges, Respected Teachers & My Dear Friends/

Today, I am here before you to say a few words about

Social Network and Youth”/
We are in an age of interactivity, /multimedia/ & multi-tasking,/ Social Media or Social Networking has a very important role in the life of our youth./ Google,/ Facebook,/ twitter,/ youtube, etc./ are some of them. /Social Network,  has both positive and negative impacts depending on the usage. /

Hacking, pornography, etc. are some of the few bad things possible through social networks/ but in contrary/ it can play a vital role in the capacity building of youth./ The technologies like blogging, / uploading,/ sharing/ can help in building reputation,/ bringing in career opportunities and monetary income./

In social media/ youth get the facility to present their ideas in front of the virtual communities increasing their confidence level,/ thus providing the platform for any youth to advertise themselves and to show their hidden talent in front of the world./

In short,/ with the connectivity it provides, /the creativity it allows,/ and the breathtaking wealth of information within the fingertips/ makes Social Networking a boon to the society./ Rather than focusing on the bad impacts on youth,/ we should try to catch the opportunities to boost our energies with the help of social media or social networking./

Thank you.