Friday, September 30, 2011

Anger - A Power to Reckon


 
            Yesterday, while I was travelling by bus, I saw a barking dog following a rag picker. He was trying to chase it with a stick, but to no avail. The dog barked and barked and the man waved his stick at it. Then the man got so angry, that he threw his stick at the dog so hard that I, seeing the expression on the man’s face and the muscle strength of his hands which was visible, made me flinch involuntarily.
            At that moment, there were people around, as it was a bus stop and I could see only a part of the bus stop. So there was a mother and son, who was standing there. They didn’t even know that a scene was going on behind them. I felt I was watching a black and white movie, a movie of contrasts. One side anger and the other side peace.
            So what makes anger? Why do we get angry? To be frank, I’m not an expert in talking about this, but one thing I know, even I too had a phase when I used to get angry, very fast. For man, there are numerous emotions for different occasions, and now-a-days anger is the reigning emotion, in the whole wide world. Due to anger, people kill each other. Its so extreme an emotion that it is high time we analyzed the facts that activates the switch of anger.
            Anger is an emotion which is generated when we are faced with what we hate to see (like harassing the weak by the strong), feel (like the unfairness of the circumstances) or hear (Like when someone says No when we really expected a Yes badly). We feel its natural, but actually, it is not natural. It is an anomalous emotion, which is an acid, that burns our whole soul, then it goes on to burn the mind, body and ultimately the society.
            In life, the anger starts when the child gives his first cry after birth, the moment when he is woken up from the cocoon of his mother’s womb. We would say, its an inevitable gesture to awaken the child. Its true, but this is the first gesture in a saga of actions. When baby, they show the anger by crying, then they start throwing things and shouting at others, then that passes towards his adolescence, youth and it floods to the full grown person. But when old age sets in, most of the anger gets evaporated. Then they become the famous Mona Lisa for every problem. They face life with the famous smile, the oldies can face any manner and no retribution of any sort towards the angry person.
So now we know, that the young has something more and extra which the old hasn’t and they are more happy and at peace with themselves without it. The time of life to enjoy is when we are young and when we are full grown, but the life which we have has been immersed in is so full of anger, either towards the parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbours, society and the whole world that there is no vision above that. Then in return we are left with – a framework of a human being with no personality. The lustre of life is gone. The brightness in the eyes has dulled. The ambition to live is gone leaving behind just a nuclear bomb, ready to detonate with anybody.
            In my feeling, there are many root causes for anger but the biggest cause is our ego. According to the American Heritage dictionary, Ego is the pride in oneself; self-esteem. In psychoanalysis, ego is the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behaviour, and is most in touch with external reality.
When we have an ego, we are prone to get angry fast. But for the old, they have had their share of battering to their ego that they left it on the way as the years passed by. So naturally, they have no reason to get angry.
            I hope you understood the name of the machine, which makes us angry – Our Ego. To be frank, can I pass a news? For me too, Its breaking news. Lucky are the people who knew this earlier. If someone had told me, before, my life would have been a lot easier. But who has the patience to hear the lecture? Since we have a fight to win, don’t we?
                        So now we know that we get angry, when our self esteem is knocked or nicked, our ego naturally responds. It comes out as anger. But in the long run when we become aware of this excessive entity in our system, the only thing we can do is don’t allow it to come it to the fore, channelize it to some creative area. I have heard a story of a person who became a famous dancer. Her both parents were dancers and she had been studying dance from childhood. But she didn’t like it an iota. But her parents forced her to do it. So she started dancing to express her anger and later she was so frustrated that she started dancing whenever she got angry and she put her whole mind in the act that, all those who saw her dance were awed. So one day, somebody recorded her dance secretly, and showed her. Seeing her expressions, the perfection in her gestures and the co-ordination in movements, this was her own making, that the dancer herself was awed. Then she knew, that the dance was her calling, because it was in her blood. Then she channelized all her energy into this art form that she became famous. So anger can be utilised for the good.
Man is capable of conquering the unconquerable and utilising it for his use. We all know that we utilise the nuclear material to electrify cities and countries, the waves of seas and oceans , winds of all directions, sunlight, etc. are being utilised for the best of mankind. These things are all nature’s fury but we have harnessed it. If left unattended they can really harm human race and a waste too. That is what anger does to  our lives too. It can harm not only ours but also other’s lives too. The consequences of anger are far reaching. The words used, is far worse than actions. They are unforgettable.  So don’t be angry. Channelize your anger to areas which you fear to tread. That would be the thrill of living.
OK, come on guys, why don’t we plan an expedition to the SUN?
Take care and be happy.
Meena





Monday, September 26, 2011

Criticism


        Criticism, is the act or an instance of making an unfavourable or severe judgment, comment, etc. It is not a very good experience, to always take the brunt of criticism. When I first heard, that there is a profession to criticize, I was really shocked because when someone was criticized in school, home, within friends circle, I had felt very bad about it. I really didn’t like that situation. So I usually do not get into mischief. But in life we cannot grow, without being criticized because we are not perfect. At that time, I felt very very bad, but later I knew that if I had not been criticized, then I wouldn’t have known, that a flaw really existed in me.
            But when I started writing, I really felt, if there was anyone who could help me, by looking my flaws, in my writing, then I could have improved it. But there wasn’t anyone because I had not published it anywhere except my blog and my blog is a place where only my friends who has time to visit, read it. Then I knew the value of a critic. A good critic can produce great works and he can also break it too.
            When constructive criticism continues and continues, it cross the line of control then it extends itself to a slow destruction, ultimately, a death of a soul who receives it. When that happens, better conclude that the critic has a problem either with the author or with himself. What did he earn with it? Self satisfaction? It’s a sadistic behaviour from the part of the critic, isn’t it?
            I, in my life had a critic, a critic, who always criticized me from dawn to dusk. Whatever, he criticized, I tried to correct it and then he will have another thing to criticize, again I would correct it, it happened again and again I made sure, that I don’t repeat the same mistake. After repeated criticisms, I knew I cannot tolerate this torrent of criticism and I came to the resolution, that I am not going to be destructed by this person and he is not going to control my life. The funny part is, when I am away from his presence, wherever I am, I’m the best, only when I’m with him, I am the worst, then I knew the problem was not mine. I tried to hear all the criticism, then I selected, which I felt was genuine and corrected it. But criticism and criticism and criticism do really get into the nerves, I used to think, God, why were these critics born? I feel they are the people who think they have no flaws? Well, I don’t know, because, I am not flawless, I make mistakes, and it is good to say, “I’m sorry”. But when we have only this thing to say, the whole part of the day, then the value of the word is just lost, the genuineness of the feeling is gone. We do not feel anything. Never bother to acknowledge whatever they say. The person has been deprived of the little hope of being good due to constant criticism, a hope to live, like live happily ever after. Then we just live. Life would take a back turn. Thinking, its better to reverse our vehicle and just go the other direction, even if we have neared the goal.
            I learned my lesson in life, Never Criticise. In life, we can be an angel to our fellow beings, when we help them to show the way, with good words and loving suggestions and nsot criticism. They would value it. It is priceless. It is not only a virtue but also a triumph over ourselves. We have become the beacon for a fellow being and in turn, we learn a lesson from them too.
 Criticism should be a beacon and not a wild fire. Criticism should be life and not death. And the person, who criticizes, should have awareness, that he is not above God. God is the only person, who can judge us. So if you are planning to judge others, make sure that you are flawless in your way. Since, that would be difficult, you can give suggestions and advice and not criticism, because, it’s not worth all the heart ache, it generates.
Take care and Be Happy
Meena

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Forget Not The Path You Have Tread


I remember a story about Hansel and Gretel, being lost in the forest, because, they forgot the path they had come, due to darkness. We all at one time or other, do lose our ways, but when we come to know, that we have really lost our way, then the lightning would strike our heart, asking the question, “Now what?”
            Usually, kids are guided by elders. When they move around, they hold hands, so that the child doesn’t get lost, in the maze of ways and people. This path gets imprinted in the mind each time they take the same way. Then even if it’s midnight they are not frightened to walk the same way for fear of being lost.
            In life too, we have this path. We reach the goal through this path. A path where there were lots of people, lots of mile stones, monuments in life. But when we reached the goal, we forget everything, all these people and milestones since we  reached home safely, and what is there to think about? Its not a big deal. 
When we were kids we have been inculcated to have a goal in life and when the goal is reached, we say that we have become successful. But have we really succeeded?
            Yes, we have really succeeded, but how did we do it? With the help of the people and experiences. Life has taught  certain lessons on the road to the goal. When goal is reached, its finished, but actually, its just the beginning of a life which lay ahead. We are not yet finished with life when we reach our goal. Goals start for every human being from birth onwards – The first milestone – the first cry, The second one – the first smile, then the next and it goes on and on. But, have you thought, how many people were there when we were born? How many hands were there to take us? How many mouths were there to sing a lullaby? And from there starts a saga of milestones, people, experiences.
These people gave the most essential luster to our life. These experiences (good or bad) bring a maturity to our decision. These milestones mark our route to success. So can we forget all these in one go when we reach the ultimate goal? I hope not, we have been moulded as an individual from the path we followed.
I would like to say a story which my mom told when I was young - The story which stuck in my heart, which I never failed to pass at every opportunity I got – “The story of a thief”.
A thief murdered a man while stealing. The flash back of the story was thus, When the thief was just a boy, he used to pick things from his friends bag, neighbour’s house, from wherever he had opportunity to take and his mother never scolded him even once, instead, she encouraged her son, to steal. Ultimately he became a full-fledged thief.
So during his last attempt at stealing, he had to kill a man. The judge sentenced him to death. While he was being sentenced to death, the thief thought about his past and when the judge asked his last wish, he requested to see his mother. As expected, his mother arrived and she cried and spoke emotionally. But the son was not moved. He said, “Mother, I have a secret, which I want you to know.” The mother eagerly went near his son and strained her ear towards her son, lo and behold! he bit a piece of his mother’s ears. She shrieked with pain. He said, “If you had at least  said just once“No” or scolded me or beat me, I would not have been here. This is a lesson, every mother should learn, when they rear their children, Teach them, scold them, correct them, when they do wrong, but the result should be, 'make them good citizens'.”
I do not know whether this story is true or false but it teaches one thing, the people around us and the experience we have with them do have a great role in our being an individual, in moulding our personality. We should acknowledge it at every turn of our life. That is when we make ourselves invincible to others.
As Jawaharlal Nehru told his daughter Priyadarshini in one of his letters, (Discovery Of India) “Each pebble we see has a story to say,” “It’s the same thing, regarding our life too. Each action, every nuance of our expression, every turning point, do have a story to tell.” Cherish it, Never Forget It. It’s with this experience that we become matured - A Complete Person. Respect the people who helped you in growing. Help them when they need it from you. Their blessing is your stepping stone to success. In short, “Forget Not The Path You Have Tread”, you would need it in future – with a new insight.

Take Care & Be Happy.
Meena

Friday, September 23, 2011

Be A Teacher At Least Once

          
               Teachers are the masters, who mould the young minds irrespective of caste, creed, colour and stature. That is a known fact, but I knew the value of being a teacher when a child was scolded in public for his mistake, (which had been repeatedly warned), by a teacher without any inhibition of thinking the child being hurt or what others would think. In that audience, there was an advocate and a social worker, they all sat there thunder struck. The teacher, was just a lower primary teacher and she had only half a year of experience with the teaching profession, she is a very soft spoken personality who has a smiling contour, but when she scolded the child, no wonder, everyone just went dumb. Then I knew, the value of having an experience as a teacher.
But how would an advocate or a social worker or people of other professions other than teachers know, how a child’s mind works? They have experience with only grown up people, they consider persons as a human being which is categorized from baby to old man in the same manner but, even a young animal should be trained, only then he can understand, the difference between with words of love and words of reprimand, then they would be fit for the society.
Never postpone anything regarding a child, even if it is a present or a promise or a reprimand, we should do it at the right time. That is the psychology of kids, only then they will respond to us or else don’t bother to correct them, they will ignore you, then you know what will happen to your kid a wasteful person. Do you know how difficult it is to train a wild horse when old. That is the same with the children, give the necessary training in all facets of life, irrespective of what the child would feel, when young and they have the caliber to change, be moulded and above all grow to become a very good citizen. That is the important facet which is necessary in a person - A Good Character.

            The story that brought out this article was, we had two problematic children, who was always naughty, first time they were told nicely, lovingly, that what they did was wrong, etc..etc.. They heard it and didn’t bother to keep a good stance even for a week, when they became problematic the very next week, they were not scolded. The elders loved them again lavishly, showering them with gifts, taking them everywhere, and then when they overstepped the naughtiness a young teacher responded without thinking that they were using the technique of correcting them with love. But anyway, it was effective, they were much better children.
We all think corporal punishment is not good for any living beings, but I feel, if the children don’t understand after explaining to them in different ways,  then the last step is, we overstep the line of control, scold then the next step is corporal punishment,which we have drawn as the final way for correcting the child.
I am a teacher and a mother too, for me the worst thing I cannot tolerate is, scolding and punishing. It really changes the bodily system of mine, the atmosphere of the home and the school. I feel bad about it. But if I don’t have choice, I give only one thrash, which he should know, that he got it for a genuine cause. As the saying goes, “Spare the Rod and Spoil The Child”.  I have felt, my students were the best kids in school. They know, that I do not harass them with harsh words or stick, and so they love me. Whenever I’m in town or wherever they see me, they come and speak to me, that is the gift of showing the children, the right path, being a teacher. If they are corrected properly, if they are shown the right path, they will love you life long, they will thank you lifelong. A teacher is committed to do it. The children would never criticize you afterwards, saying, “It was because, you beat me or you scolded me, miss, my life got spoiled.”
But one thing we should take care of is, never harass the kids for each and everything, then they get fed up of us, only when really necessary, step out of the cocoon of pampering. Only if you feel that  he is continuing in the wrong path. Otherwise, I’d say, I’m also against harsh words and corporal punishment, because they too have to enjoy life, they too have the right to live peacefully and completely, Just like us.
Anyway, I’ll pass a secret, I was grown up with many thrashing and scolding and I’m sure, my parents too, had rowed the same boat and I have never felt that, they had any psychological problems. So it’s a necessity in this day and age to help the children grow with difficulties and burdens, only then they would be responsible citizens, fit to live in the society or else, we can see that they are in the gallows or an ally of a terrorist outfit. So please do not save your child by taking the brunt of all his actions and needs. Be a teacher, when he becomes naughty and be courageous to stand up to him and say “No”, You are not correct, you should rectify it.” Only then he will respect you. He is eligible for your respect, for that you should guide him when young. A teacher is a person who is courageous to speak out when wrong. He is a guide to show the right path to the children. He is a friend who lends his shoulder to burden our fears and sorrows. He is also human.
So be a teacher at least once in a kid's life and do respect teachers, they really are an asset to the society. They are the people who mould the budding society.

And I with all my love and respect, bow to all my teachers who really helped me grow to become a good human being. Thank You My Dearest Teachers.

Take Care and Be happy
Meena
             

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Right Job

             

  We are in an age where we give the children a free hand in selecting their professions, the courses they need to study, the future they plan to select and  the parents just had to open the wallet and pay, nothing more. That was what I was thinking until today, when I met a girl who was studying for the entrance of Civil Services Preliminaries.
            I was real awed, because I had spoken and worked with lots of IAS officers and the like but not a fledgling, aspiring civil servant. So I asked her, what made her decide to select this job? She said, "Actually, I didn't  have any idea about my future profession, what I should opt for." So after her degree, she went for a retreat and they guided them to opt for the civil services according to the Intelligent Quotient test conducted. And then too, she didn’t know, what she was involving herself into. But now after studying so much in the coaching centre and being with other students and previous candidates involved in this she started liking the profession. But the “started” part stuck in me. How can one start to love a profession? Shouldn’t it be in there? She wrote the entrance test and failed the first time and she is planning to do it one more time, if she fails, then she would return to her native place and study for a Post Graduate course. That too no idea what to do.  I was really shocked, when I saw a girl’s life being squandered because she hadn’t been guided properly. It was really a sad situation.
            It should have been done when very young. The parents and teachers are responsible for moulding the right aim in a child and a confidence to reach whatever goals they set could be fulfilled.
 Aims are not set just anywhere or for anything. In the beginning we have to give conquerable goals for the child and when they overcome it, their confidence grows. Then the goals should be set higher and higher, and according to the aptitude you feel would be suitable to the child’s talent.  Ultimately the child feels that he can conquer any goals and he would have aims and ambitions in life.
It is easy to pamper your child, life long, but for how long? That is what you should think. You are the masters who ruin the child’s life, because you don’t let the children go at the right time. Let them grow on their own, they need just a push or a restraining hand and not a palanquin bearer of you. And you know what the child would do to the palanquin bearer? Make you bear (carry) him lifelong. So before you fulfill your duties to your kids, I would like to give you an advice (to the parents). Be the guide, make your children be the best, by letting them have a free hand in their decision making, correcting them when necessary, guiding them when they are lost. Then you wouldn’t have to worry for them when you rely on the walking stick, or else, you would have no peace even when you are in the grave.
            The profession they select should be what their heart feels happy about, the subject they love, the field they are comfortable with. You might be outdated in the new professional courses, but you know your child. You can ask them the basic three questions before they select a profession:-
1.     Which subject do you love?
2.     Which activity makes you happy?
3.     Which place of activity do you like to be? (hospitals, IT, Social work, etc..)
Then you would get an idea of your child’s aptitude, then get the help of their teacher, she would have some suggestions, then we can search through the internet or through an educational counselor. Get minimum two to three options, when you select professional courses. Go deep into the options, like study the advantages, disadvantages, talk to the people who are working in the jobs in the presence of your child and then give your child the opportunity to select whichever, they feel comfortable and then, make sure that they set heart not in just one option but two.
                   
             Do you know why?  When the first option flops, he doesn’t have any goals in life to reach, which makes him lose heart in life, They would think, “I had an aim, I tried to reach it, but I didn’t get it, then what to do? I’m just roaming about, and good for nothing .” To avoid that, it’s better to ingrain in him at least two to three options.
 We all know, that no aim is unconquerable, but circumstances, do lend a hand in our failure to reach the goal. So it’s high time, the parents knew, that just procreating, giving food, dress, shelter and education is not the only duty you have. Make your child the best and let not somebody else decide the future of your kids. Help them and guide them till the very end, until the very time when they leave you to live on their own. That is the time you should be gratified, that you have fulfilled your duty in your child’s life.
So parents, open your hearts and just give only your forefinger for your toddler, so that he knows, how much care he is entitled from you. Then he would earn the rest.


Bye, take care and be happy.
Meena

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Silence

            Its the language of no words, only thoughts, feelings, work in this strata. The first time I heard Silence was when I was in school. But in real life, we don’t have that word in our vocabulary, in short, we have lost the silence. If ever it happens, it is because of natural calamity.
            But have we ever thought, about silence? Today, while I was going to church, there was a big noise, the noise of the flight of the pigeons. There is a place near our church, where they feed pigeons and when a car passed by, it took flight together. It was so much noise, that I wondered, how come, it produced so much noise? To have the feeling of noise, it might have been silent before. This place is Delhi, its one of the busiest place and the time was when the vehicles have not yet reached the road in full swing, the shops had not yet opened, children had not yet started to reach schools. So it was silent. Then it came to mind, why noise is so intolerant for us?
            Then I had to go back, a lot back, when God created the Earth, the Sun, The moon, etc…. Before this creation, there wasn’t anything, which means nothing. We were created from nothingness. And He created us with his word. The word had sound in it and we all know that sound has a vibration. It was a harmonious word and this word was instilled in us too.  To prove that we do have vibrations in our self, is when you hear music, even our body vibrates, our feelings are touched, we feel at peace with ourselves and we feel happy. So next time, when you hear the music, why don’t you look into it? You will not be surprised because, you had known it before but was not aware of it. And noise, is the antonym of harmony. It laps and overlaps all vibrations, making us disoriented in the long run. That is why people become crazy, angry, selfish, etc…
But there are lots of truths in this universe, which in itself is a galore of treasure which one’s lifetime isn’t enough to search for. Man likes treasure hunt and he is actually in search of it. That is why he is craving for worldly things, like the money, fame, enjoyment, luxury, food, etc…This doesn’t lead us to anywhere. We come to where we started, from zero, from nothingness. So it is high time we deviate our path a little so that we accommodate our Spiritual Self, where it is already there in you and have all the answers for your cravings, which we have not yet bothered to look into. These are all connected to the treasures of knowledge and wisdom which has been bestowed upon us, but simply stacked inside. The only way to start is, to start from somewhere, from some point of life, the earlier the better. But how do we start? Well that’s easy. Be silent. Hear your breathing, hear your heart beat, hear your thoughts, leave the outer world outside, just like removing your shoes outside a sacred place. Leave slowly the ego, the thought that I am an important person, I should be respected, I did it on my own, etc… When you are within you, there is nobody, to show off, nobody to feel for you, nobody to give you joy. You are alone and then truth opens to you. You would be in communion with the Supreme Being – Our God.
 Its not an easy process. To say it, is very easy, but when we have to practice, for some it takes only months, but for others it take years and for some a lifetime would not be sufficient. Do you know why this time difference? Its because they have not let go off their ego.

In short, silence is a necessity - A necessity, which we should take time to find it. And get our vibrations back, which we have within us, in harmony, bringing with it harmony in the lives of our own self and for other selves, within nations and nature too. So why don’t you be silent and find the truths of your self one step at a time? Its better late than never. Best of luck.
Take care.
Meena

Monday, September 19, 2011

How Much Frankness is Frankness?

            Be frank, that is a word we hear when, we are asked a question, even if it is to a kid or to a friend or to a colleague. But how much frankness should you be when we have to be frank and how much the listener would expect us to be frank? That has to be looked into.
            I had an uncle, who always used to say, “Look, don’t feel bad, eh, I’m always frank.” First time, I didn’t feel anything but years later, I saw him in his house, his state was terrible. The house was dirty, as it had not been painted for sometime and there was nobody to look after him and above all, he was alone and sat either in front of the verandah or in front of the television.
            So it was my usual ritual, that when I go nearby his place, I’ll just give a courtesy call, speak for sometime and leave, usually that speech would make me flee, feeling that it is high time, I curtailed my courtesy calls. It usually would be too frank for my taste -  criticism of others. According to him, he looked after his family properly, so everybody is entitled to love him, care him,etc.. His children, now married have their own family and they too are not willing to take him under their wings. The first time when I heard it, I was shocked, but when I had the brunt of his frankness, I thought, if I couldn’t tolerate him, for 15 minutes, then how are they going to suffer him for the entire life? Lucky he was not murdered by now.
            If a man can be made alien by his frankness, then there would surely be a measuring cup for the amount of frankness one should have in one’s system. All life behaviours walk on a tight rope, a false step leads to the gorge underneath, that, which we are not aware. We just live on our own free will, feeling that we are the masters of this Universe. We have the freedom of choice, freedom of speech, freedom of what not all. But do we really have it? Yes, we have it, but we should earn it, to have it. Or else, we won’t fit in the society of humans, we would be with our lonely self, we become the dog in the manger of the society.
            We have the freedom of choice, we can use it, utilize it, etc..etc.. and we can make mistakes too, some can be rectified, but others cannot, that is life. And we can learn from our past mistakes. But  words, which is more powerful than actions, when spoken, then that is a different matter. There is an old saying, “Words once spoken cannot be taken back.” It is true to the very last letter.
 Words can hurt others, make them happy, make them feel cherished, loved, so much emotions are connected to words. We have the freedom of speech and we with our thoughtless words, of being frank, we break not only others happiness and life but also our own happiness, our relationship, our well being, why because we use our words without the wisdom, without knowing the consequences by putting into the category of frankness. And in the end, we are cursed creatures, not a soul to think about us.
            So how much frankness is frankness? For me I have felt that Frankness, in short, is Truth. But there are different ways to express truth.
When a teacher asks the student, “Did you take the pen?” We expect total frankness. Either yes, or no. But if the husband asks his wife or vice versa, “How does he/she looks?” We expect frankness, but if they look gaudy or ugly, we can be frank with a cover. For example, the answer can be, “Hey, this dress, its really beautiful, but the colour or that beauty, does not really match with you. I feel, you should use the other dress or another hairstyle, or, with that eyes of yours, the other dress would be great, at least it has something optimistic. The above answer is frankness, in a veiled way.
 But the people who are frank answers like this, “God! You look a nightmare or you look really ugly” What is there to expect? “Darkness within, for both the speaker as well as the listener. Did these words help each other grow? No, they stunted the process of thought, life. Do you know why? Because of total frankness, that’s all.
Life has its ups and downs and in this roller coaster, we do not want to be a bump in other’s life, make it as smooth as possible, for that, we have to do one thing,  we are the drivers of our own life, we have a choice whether we should take the guttered road or the Express Highway. That choice, decides, whether your life is easy or not. For me, I suggest, make your life easy and ultimately, you would smoothen other’s lives too - A life which we get to live only once. So use your words after a second thought. You do deserve a second chance.
Take care and be happy.
Meena

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just Wait A Moment, Please

            Just wait a moment! This is a frequent dialogue, we hear this at different stages of life and we do literally wait. This waiting business is not entitled only for the poor but also the rich, not only the young but also the old. Even the just born babies have to wait. Do you know why? Because we feel we have no choice or sometimes, it might be we all are optimistic. Then the next step is we do sit or stand waiting, thinking all sorts of nonsense or sometimes just wait there and watch the passers by.
But why wait? Aren’t there any options other than wait? For me, I feel that wait time can be utilized as the time when we can mould ideas, plans and above all a time to take resolutions. When I wait, I have always thought that it was not by choice we have got to wait, but it is part of the master plan written for us. We all know, in this age, we are short of time, a quality time, where we could spend it with our family, friends and above all a time to ourselves and with God. The importance of time is in utilizing it wisely. We are short of time because we are running behind fun, fame and money. But will we be happy after achieving all these. We’ll see.
I had a friend, who was very sad because he had no money, then he gained so much money that he could buy whatever he wished for, he tried to make his family happy through the hard earned money. He was happy for some time, then he seeing the expense the family incurred made him sad, then he worked hard and hard and no one understood his craze for money, no one bothered about it, his wife and children just spent it and then they squandered it recklessly. He just wallowed himself in misery. then he was diagnosed cancer. Hearing it he couldn’t control his grief, he was bed ridden. He became an introvert, he spoke to no one and  then one day on his death bed he called his kids and spoke I wish I had my old life back, at that time I had only one problem – no money, but I was happy, I was happy even for the little things of daily life. I had lots of memories of that life. But now, I am a changed man, thinking only to amass wealth, no friends, no family. It all happened because I had not allowed myself to wait. If I had waited, might be, I would have been more well off with my life, more happier within myself and more peace with the society. But then who knew that my greed would lead me to deeper sorrow. My children, I know, what I say may not be to your liking, but I want to pass this experience, so that you don’t make the same mistake I did. Money doesn’t make life. It would not make you happy. So don’t run for money, use it wisely, invest it with shrewdness and give it some time, a waiting period to grow. In short, “Waiting is good. You should wait.” it is a good thing if you wait and think before doing something. Because it’s the quality time – a time given to us by God, UtiIize it to the maximum. Then he died, he was much more at peace with himself then, as he had passed on his piece of wisdom from his life experience.
So I would like to say, whenever we have to wait, wait patiently because, its our quality time and it’s a time to feel our own self – A self which makes our identity. Then we would be more than happy to while away our time waiting, to prioritize our destinations and goals, to think whether we are right or wrong. So guys, Just wait a moment, eh.

 And Take Care while you wait.

Meena

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Kings Of The Moment


        It takes only a moment of decision to turn the tables for man. The first time I had the awareness of it was when I grew real big and mature. One of my friend’s sons had come to meet her and they talked and joked to all of us and she was very proud of them, and I really felt that, she didn’t underestimate their value. They were very good kids, aged 17 and 20. The eldest one was presented with a motor bike on his birthday and they had come in that to see her in her work place. They were planning to go for a vacation from their college, so they had come to do some shopping. The day started thus for all of us,  babbling with words, shuttling all opinions of the advantages and disadvantages of tourist destinations, etc. They went and we were left behind with a smile on our face.  After 30 mts, a phone call, the two kids were met with an accident, one died on the spot and the other in a critical condition in the ICU. It was so shocking, that we couldn’t accept the truth, that, they were the same kids. But in the end, they both passed away, leaving a nostalgic fragrance of their short time existence.
 
            These are the times, when we feel that we should really take care of the moment - The moment which would decide our destinies. But are we aware of it? That was the day, when I thought, I should get my priorities straight. Whether to do good or to go for the worst, whether to make others happy or make yourself happy, whether to be what I want to be or what others want me to be. All these things I decided, and sometimes I didn’t have any control of certain phases of my life but, one thing was certain, if we really set our priorities, we don’t have to deviate from it, life may lead to somewhere, but the priorities are in us – the decision to do the right. It really matters in life. It takes only a moment to decide, we can analyze, assimilate and do what all calculations, but when we decide, it will take just a moment and that moment is very precious and that faculty is given only to man. So don’t squander away this faculty of decision and don’t let the moment go, as we might have lots of time to analyze when old, to think about all our actions, and at that time even if we wish to change it, cannot be undone. So be the Kings of the moment –  Wise, Loving and Kind Decision Makers. That is the most Important Thing in Life.
Take Care
Meena