Thursday, July 28, 2011

Second Thoughts

          The first time I decided was when I was 7 yrs old. I didn’t know, that would later decide my fate in life. It was the Annual Day Function of my school and my dad came early, as I was a boarder, he thought he could meet me and be with me. But I was so angry with him for putting me in the boarding, I didn’t even look at him (at that age I didn’t know, I could have such strong will. But any way I did.) I saw him sitting in the front row during the first part of the functions and then when the anniversary finished, I looked for him but it was too late, he had gone. That day I would never forget - The sadness in my dad’s eyes, the defeated walk and for my part I had a very heavy heart seeing my dad’s empty seat. I couldn’t control my tears. I cried and cried the whole night.
        From that day I have always repented for that action and I would always think this situation before I decide any major decisions. But this same situation came when I grew up so I took a positive action, where the person at the receiving end was elated but I didn’t have the wisdom to think it would be a nightmare after that.
       It was just the decision of the moment. To make at least someone happy, even if it would hurt my life. So now I understand that, both the decisions were wrong and I had second thoughts.
       When our elders decide they do it by experience, but when we are a kid (until marriage) we feel that we are right, the parents are out dated and so we decide what is right for us, but it would backfire in the end. We would not be able to undo it.
       As the old saying goes, words once spoken cannot be taken back and that goes with actions too. So when you decide, just ask two or three elders, they can share their ideas too and ask a person, who have had experience with it directly too and still if you’re adamant or strong that your part is correct, then go forward with your decision, so that you won’t have second thoughts.
       The funny part is I told my part of second thoughts but my friend is a person, who always discusses her problem openly and try to get different opinions and then decide it with lots of thought and care and takes her own time but now she has lots of second thoughts in life, which I feel that she hasn’t asked the right questions or else how can she have such a lot of second thoughts?
       So the questions which you should ask whenever you decide is:-
1.  Am I doing it right?
2.  If yes, why is it right? What do I get from it? For How Long? And who all would benefit?
3.  If no, why is it wrong? What are the disadvantages? For how long? And who all would be hurt?
If the answers you get it is to your liking then do what is right. To Avoid second thoughts.
But life is always a surprise and we do a lot of mistakes in life and that doesn’t mean that we have failed ourselves. This is just a stepping stone. We learn from it and that’s how we gain wisdom. Then when we become old, we are a store house of knowledge, experience and wisdom. In Short Second Thoughts make us wise. They are the turning points in life. Take Care.
Meena
      

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