Monday, November 28, 2011

Leave it to Him

I have had many a dreams about missing trains and flights and seen movies, about running to catch it. During those times too the fright really rose from within but when the actual sequel happened in real life, we were laughing.
            It happened last week, when my sister came to meet me. She had booked a train ticket for 2nd A/C from Delhi – Hyderabad. It was a limited stop train and usually, tickets to these types of train has to be booked weeks ahead. Likewise, she booked and got an RAC ticket for Andhra Express, which here is well known as Rajdhani Express. Whenever she had taken train from Delhi, she had only taken it from Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway station in Delhi. So she concluded that this train too departs from there itself. Nobody felt to check the ticket, as she was a seasoned traveller and etiquette called for it that we accept her experience.
            We reached 45 minutes prior to departure and luck was with us, as there was nobody in the enquiry counter. We waited for 15 minutes and then we asked another railway personnel, which platform does our train arrive. He looked at our ticket and replied, “Sorry madam, this train has no stop here. It starts from New Delhi Railway station. And you will not get the train.” I was shocked to hear the last part. How callously he spoke the truth? Anyway I believed in God and took all our luggage and shoved it into the car and asked the driver to please go quickly to the next railway station which was 14 kms away. The driver was an old man, very matured. He gave all the vehicles even bicycles and the people an opportunity to pass before him and drove sedately. I told him,
“Brother, please, could you go a bit more faster? Otherwise, we will miss the train.” Then he replied,
“Don’t worry child, we’ll reach there. God has already planned everything for us. Don’t worry.” We reached as was predicted. The platform was 12th . We had to run, literally run as in Home alone movie. It was so long a run, that I thought, this was exactly my dream coming true, because, we were not able to reach the platform. At last we reached and saw the white cross of the last compartment of our train leaving the station. I didn’t know what to do. I stood there, eyes closed, willing the train to stop but, it didn't. My sister came panting behind me, I looked at her and said, “We missed.” At that very moment a young man came and asked, “Has the Andhra Express arrived?” We looked at each other and couldn’t contain the mirth of our situation, "All in the same boat? Impossible!". We controlling our laughter, smiled and said sweetly, “Its gone”. Afterwards we couldn't control our laughter. We laughed. Now what? We really hadn’t a clue. We asked the Delhi Station enquiry whether there was any train to the same destination. None. So we returned to Nizamuddin railway station where there was a train at 10:30 pm. We asked for reservation. The official in that ticket counter said,
“Sorry madam, when there is no seat, how are we going to reserve?” 
“Don’t you have any seat, of employees quota or MP quota or MLA quota, like that?”
“Everything has been taken. You might get train for next day, but in that too reservation cannot be guaranteed.”
We stood there, not knowing what to do. We really prayed, “Why, God, why did you do this to us. What do you want us to show? Please, don’t strand us here. Pleaaaase” Seeing the situation, there was no chance of any miracles happening. We didn't know what really God had in store for us. At that moment, the reservation clerk, feeling that we were having some misgivings regarding his statement,  said,
“If you do not believe me the reservation supervisor, will tell you in detail. You can ask him directly.” But the real situation was we were literally lost as this was the first experience and it was night and only ladies. We went to the reservation supervisor and told our predicament. He immediately looked into his computer and said, “There are two seats in 2nd A/C. Do you want it?” It was the most sweet sounded words which I had ever heard. Immediately we paid for it. 
Then he continued, "Please wait for 10 minutes, I’ll say whether its confirmed." After 10 minutes, he gave a confirmed ticket. And we returned to the ticket counter personnel, and showed him our ticket, “Sir, would you be kind enough to say which platform, does this train arrive?” He just looked at the ticket and sat dumb struck. He was asking, “How did you get this ticket?” To be frank I wasn’t aware, that it was next to impossible to get a ticket for Rajdhani Train just 2 hours before departure. But seeing the personnel’s expression, I looked at him quizzically with a sinking heart and in the mind saying "Oh! God! Not Again" I asked, “Is there any problem again for this ticket?” He just nodded in the negative and said, “It is a miracle, that you got a ticket at all. The train arrives on platform no. 7.”
            In the train too, everybody was surprised, as most of them had their tickets confirmed just that day. Only then we knew the gravity of the situation we were in and the gift that God had given.
            In short God proved once more in my life that He can make things happen that is next to impossible and He also showed me, I am not the driver of my life. There is a more powerful Supreme above us, who directs our life. The only thing is, we should have the courage to let our life into the hands of that Supreme and  loving God, who is always ready to give us the very best.
            Well, I got this feeling only after a day or two and the above experience which I received is no small one, to just dust off just like that. So once more I had to accept Him as my most loving God. And you might want to know, what all happened, after that. Well, why don’t you try it yourself, because your experience would be far better to feel  and live than mine. But anyway, the choice is yours. The first step should be yours. Best of luck.
 And one extra advice. You are free to have full faith in God, Good, but please check the ticket before you travel. That is one thing I learned from this incident.
Meena

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Utilise Your Existence

            I have always wondered, why people are not happy. They are always running for something like money, love, luxury, house, car, etc. They get it and still they are unhappy. Today I saw a group of people just living for existence-To Survive.
 I was travelling in Dehi, when my vehicle halted in a red signal. Since, it was a junction, I had to wait for sometime there. I looked through the window and saw a spectacle, that really ripped my heart. There was a roundabout in the middle of the road and in it was an open space, just bare ground. And the roundabout was fenced with iron grills. In some places, there were some grills missing, but overall, we don’t find anything odd in the missing grills. But the sight within was unimaginable.
For Delhiites winter had already set in, with fogs and mists and cold seeping in to the bones have all started. In this spectacle there where children ranging from 2 ½  month old toddler to very old people sleeping on bare uneven ground, under the roof of the sky covering themselves with a single blanket, to ward off the severe cold. They were all fine. Nobody was wailing or doing any tantrums. They were as happy as the birds of the sky and the grass near the roadside. They live their best, utilizing every single option extended before them. But my eyes filled. These people, they were not bothered about their appearance, not even a cough was heard from that group and they were so peaceful a group, that I felt awed by the way they live. We might feel that life is being cruel to them. But I’ll say, life was being cruel to us or is it, we are being cruel to our lives, which has given the very best for each of us?
People who have had the luxury of living inside a house, big or small, knows, how difficult it would be to manage the cold, inside a house with blankets, room heaters, sealing of all doors and windows and if there isn’t a proper roof, its unimaginable. We have all the comforts, we add more to it, but still we are not sufficient with whatever we have and still we wail, “Why is God, not considering us?” but for these people, sleeping under the sky,  on the small uneven ground is more than luxury.
So then you know, how much lucky should we be of our existence. How much thankful should we be to God. But we worry so much, that we fall sick and live an existence, which is no good for our own self and a curse and burden for others – A waste.
Never let worries bog your existence, accept the day you have got, live it to the full and the rest will happen naturally. And what is the rest, health, wealth, peace, contentment and happiness. Its not the life, that should be blamed but the way that you live your life is what should be looked into. So change your attitude towards your existence, your life. Take it happily, cherish it lovingly and live it fruitfully.
Bye Take Care.
Meena

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Love

Love – Its The Elixir of Life. It might be for a person, for the nation, for mankind. But actually, What is Love?
Love, it is a feeling which comes from within, from our Self. Its a feeling believed to cure all ills. It is a feeling  which makes us the perfect human being. It is a feeling which transcends all feelings, all bonds and above all it helps us unite with the Supreme God.  
Love is portrayed in many ways. Love of parents, children, friends, spouse, etc... But can we define love? No, we cannot because it is unique in nature. It holds special and different meaning for each person.  By a simple look, a smile, a pat, a gift,  but the end result is indeed worth reviving.
The main quality of love is unselfishness. Love humbles the person, he loses his ego, so as to accommodate each and everybody. A mother becomes a mother not only to her child but also to other children too. She with her love conquers the heart of her kids, their friends, their parents and a chain reaction starts which helps her in conquering a society. Its just a small example of the power of love
Its not easy to get love, we cannot force others to love us. But its easy to give it. Its free flowing unless one wishes to stop it. Love has helped families to heal their differences, hurts. It has helped kids to grow in the right direction. It can help conquer evil and bring light to the darkened corners of human hearts. But how do we Love? The secret recipe is “Hear the heart. She will guide you.
For the love of the destitute, Mother Teresa offered her life. For the love of her country Joan of Arc  gave her life. For the love of God people become ascetics. They all have succeeded in life, Its not in the terms of money or position, but in the sense of inner happiness and fulfillment. They don’t have any regrets, Do you know why? They sacrificed their life out of Love. And this sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. The power of love cannot be contained - The all conquering love. It is explosive in itself. It is the most powerful tool in breaking the barriers of hatred and differences.
Love cannot be replaced. It can take different forms - The form of understanding, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad. It makes allowances for human weaknesses. It is always optimistic and it doesn't brood over the past. If you have found love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack.
If you haven’t, no matter what else you have, you are a cripple, you are a lost person, so search for it, ask God for it, He surely has it abundantly. He can give it to you, but, you have a homework to complete.
Look around and take hold of each and every opportunity. Give your time and talent to the very needy, then the resultant good feeling generates the feeling of love.
I would like to share an incident, which happened recently, I was standing in a bus stop. A very old and frail lady might be 80+ years old came and asked a nun who was standing near me to direct her to a bus stop, which was on the opposite side of the road. The nun opened her mouth to say the direction, then closed it and took hold of the old lady’s hand and slowly helped cross three roads of the highway, (as it was a junction where the vehicles rode very fast)  and just left her in front of the bus stop. You should have watched the expression of the old lady, the relief of the old woman was tangible. the nun, she had a spring to her step. and the people who witnessed it, all had a smile, (seeing the Good Samaritan work). The nun had the opportunity to help, to show her love for another human being, she utilized it. It really brings a satisfaction.
Likewise, all people do respond to a genuine help extended towards them and that’s what makes us special. You feel a love for yourself, because, God gave us the talent and the opportunity and we utilized it. These small acts would help you change your attitude. You would love to help others, initially, to see the expressions on their faces, then in due course, you won’t matter about the expressions, what matters more, is the love we have for the person (as a son/daughter of God).
When you sow the good oats in the hearts of others, the love for fellow beings, get passed on to others too, that is what Love does. It transfers, it grows and it flourishes into a large field of hearts, who reap the oats of inner peace, happiness and above all a union with God, which should be our aim in life - Be with God. So now you know how God answers your prayers. Just watch out and grab it and Fall in Love.
Bye
Meena

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Power of Word

            My mother had always been stingy on words. She never used words, more than was necessary but if she Gives a Word. She kept it.  When my dad passed away, my mom had to manage on her own, her trait of keeping word continued. I was used to this type of lifestyle, which I took it for granted. But after my dad’s death, I came out of the cocoon of my family. The outside world was crueler, there, the people were so blatant in using words, for making promises, lying, cheating, God knows, what all additives. It was a gory scene that people made with words. But whatever consequences, I learned one thing in life. The word, which comes from our mouth are more powerful, than actions.
            I would like to say an incident, which happened not long back. A teacher promised a 10yr old child in the boarding, that she would allow her to call her parents, during the weekend. The boarder was very happy. The weekend arrived, the boarder asked the teacher, “Miss can I call my parents?” At that time, I was with the teacher.
The teacher, a lady in her 50s looked up into the face of the girl, who was smiling broadly at her.
 “Why?”
The child’s smile wavered, but tried to keep it intact, “You told me, you’ll allow me to call.”
“Look, I might say whatever I wish, but that doesn’t mean I should do it. If I ask you to jump in the well, will you do it?”
The girl nodded in the negative, trying to keep back her sob. But that insensitive teacher went on. “Likewise, sometimes, I would choose not to do it, and I don’t remember having promised any such things to you. Now off you go. I have work to complete.”
The child turned around and fled. I was sad. I felt hurt by the insensitivity of the teacher. And I couldn’t do nothing, as she was her boarding mistress. I went to the chapel, just to clear my thoughts, sit there in the peace and tranquillity of the place. When I reached the place, there in front of the Infant Jesus statue, the girl was sitting and pouring out her grief. I didn’t disturb her or didn’t make my presence known. I sat at the back pew closed eyed and prayed, ”Please God, heal this child’s wound. Let not she believe all teachers are like this.” (Since I am a teacher and I didn’t have any teachers of this sort in my time) I continued, “Show her your love. Please God, only you can save her.” After an hour of sitting in the peace and tranquillity, I was ready to face the world. I opened my eyes. By that time, the child had gone. I came down the steps and  saw, the most wonderful sight, “the parents of the child had arrived.”  I refrained myself from any emotional outburst, instead I just looked upto heaven and mouthed, “Thank you God”, teary eyed.
The child came up to me smilingly and spoke, “Miss, my parents arrived to take me home for a week.” I embraced the child,
“That’s wonderful, now get ready to go.”
“Yes, Miss, just a moment, I’ll just say bye to my friend.”
The child went inside the chapel, kneeled in front of the Infant Jesus statue and said, “Thank you for bringing my parents. Please come with me home. I need you there.” Kissed the statue and fled. Infant Jesus heard her word and help her fulfill it. This girl, believed in Infant Jesus, as her best friend but it was just a statue for the intelligent man. She told her wish to this statue to speak with her parents. And Jesus had brought them. Its a Miracle.  This child used her words to speak to Jesus.  Those words brought a miracle. Know the power of the word, that comes from your mouth. Its better to be stingy than use it mindlessly.
            Man has his limitations, its true, that doesn’t mean that he has to break words and promises and use it falsely. Lucky are the people who are mute, they never break words because they haven't given it.
 God has given wisdom, only to man but he is always, hiding behind “Limitation Flaw”. Then what is he doing with his wisdom, playing football?  Never use a word recklessly. You would know the value of it only when someone breaks a very important word they have made to you. Why wait to learn it the harsh way? What you sow, so shall you reap. So, count on it, if you have broken promises and be sure, that much number of times, you would be on the receiving end of broken promises.
We all know, that we are all the children of God, with the first breath of God, he breathed into us,  we are united with Him, then naturally we’ll have an innate Godly characteristic? Why don’t we try to take it out from our inner soul and act Godly at least once- God would never backtrack on his word. So why don’t you try  to keep a word you have promised? Man has the capability to bring the moon on a platter.  And its much more easier, not to give word, if you have, then use your words to make the miracle happen – The Miracle of Love.
Well, to tell you the truth, to keep word is so difficult, that I think, conquering the Mt. Everest is much more an easier task. What do you think? So think twice, when you open your mouth.
Take care and bye.






Meena

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Act of Miracle

            It was during a marriage ceremony, a miracle happened, for me. It was ages back when marriage feast were not given for caterers. It was my cousin’s marriage and the neighbours, friends, relatives were all pitching in their share of presence in peeling, scraping, cooking and a lot of talks, laughter, shouts and running around. I was 17. I was also there sitting with the bride-to-be, who was also my best friend. She came to me secretly and told, “Our cooking gas is over and we cannot get a single cylinder from anywhere.” The first thought that came to mind was, “Ask Jesus”. And I told her, just give me five minutes, don’t worry, you’ll get your cylinder.” We both sat on the front stairs, where no one was there or was there? I don’t remember, but one thing was sure, no one knew we were praying, we sat there and I asked strongly “Jesus, you should really give us the gas cylinder, which we need it real real badly. And I included, please don’t humiliate me here because she knows I’m asking you. So please and said bye to Jesus and came out of our conversation. Then I asked St. Jude too. Don’t let Jesus to stay idle until He provides the gas cylinder. All these took not more than two minutes, but as I had requested, in the stipulated 5 minutes, the miracle took place. A used gas, which even the owner doesn’t know, whether it’d stay for more than an hour, was sent for us and the surprising fact was, all the food were cooked with that cylinder and they used it 1 week after marriage too. I do not know, how many miracles happened in that single day. But it was not the number of miracles, but it was the act of miracle, which touched me. When mother Mary brought a grief of the marriage family to Jesus, something grander happened, where only certain few knew, because, they were the people whom God, really wanted to see that God can perform miracles. In our case too, only the two of us knew the miracle had happened on that day.
But what could prompt the act of miracle?
The unfailing love? The rock strong faith? Or is it simply the innocence of a child or is it humility? Well, I think all together can bring out the best from the hard hearted too.
Another miracle happened the first time I went to Hyderabad, I missed the railway station I had to get down. I got lost. It was a time, when mobile phones had not come into existence and the place where I had to go, had a phone only in the office. And the people I had to meet were my cousins, as I had come to enrol myself in college. I was totally alone with luggages more than an 18 year old could carry. We were bargaining that my cousin would be in the station and he could carry two of the bags. Seeing no recognisable face, I felt like howling my eyes out. That was a bad idea. So then the next best option is reach their place. I didn’t know, where it was. I had only their address and a phone number. I called the number and I spoke in Hindi, but they spoke another language, which I didn’t comprehend. I just disconnected and looked around and found a lady, who had been with me from the very origin of my travel. I told her my dilemma and the first question I asked her was, “What is the language spoken here?”
 “Telugu”
“Well too bad. I haven’t heard even once before, how, it sounds. Now I heard.” I was literally lost in every sense of the word. I told the girl,
“Look, I do not know, whether, I have to catch a train or a bus or an auto for my onward journey.” She asked the address and I gave her. She looked and shook her head and said,
“I have not heard of this place,”
“Oooooooooooh God!”
“But I have the heard the name of the district. To reach there, you’ll have to go by bus. I’ll take you till there and help you get in the bus. Only that much help, I can do, as I have to join duty, sorry.”
“Its, OK, no problem”, I said smilingly. Inwardly, crying out loudly. Then as if taking my luggage, I just went to Jesus and said, “Whatever the consequences, you should bring me home.”
This bus Depot was the same depot, my cousin gets his bus too, only later I came to know about it. Anyway, to make the story short, I reached home safely under the blanket of stars. And the first, dialogue my family, asked, “How did you reach here without knowing the language or the direction and with all these luggage. One misstep could have led you to the wrong people.” I smiled, who’d believe, that Jesus had brought me here? But I would.
To make miracles happen, just believe in the majesticity of the power of God, the love He has for us and make Him your friend for life because no human can be placed for Him. He is what we say in human tongue, “An All Rounder.” Just take Him with you wherever you go, to the most secretest of places and the specialest of the moments. He is the best which can happen in anybody’s life.
 Don’t pray, just to see miracles, because your existence is a miracle in itself. Look around you, there are more miracles, than you can bargain for. So His power is more than tangible, as a living and loving God. He only wants your unfailing love, rock hard faith and above all humility. Just give all your problems to Him, and have the confidence in Him, then the Act of Miracle would be visible to you too.
So, let us await for the miracle.
Meena

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Mustard Faith


                I have always wondered why Jesus caught hold of mustard or its tree in many of his speeches. I used to wonder, is it really true, that we do not even have an iota of faith? What was He conveying to us? Well, we’ll have to delve into it. For that you should have the sharpest and the thinnest blade.
                I know, you have cut vegetables and fruits into two. Likewise, slowly and very carefully, why don’t you cut the mustard seed into two?
                When you cut an apple, there is a little bit of space somewhere in it, like an air hole. Likewise all other fruits and vegetables have it, but the mustard has not a single pin point of blank space in it. That means, think your heart as a mustard, in that, never ever have even a pin point of doubt, or else the miracle  which should have been yours for the taking would burst out like a bubble.
                How do we create a mustard Faith?  When all doors are closed and you have no other choice, then your eyes automatically would be raised to heaven and the deep, painful, weeping sigh pierces, the doors of heaven shaking the very foundation of Heaven, forcing God to just give it then and there, your request. That is how mustard faith works. Complete surrender to God.
Usually, we rely on human help or human intervention and think they can solve our problem. And pacify ourselves, that God is using the said human as a means to help us. That is the first hurdle that we put in front of us and God, then naturally, God has no option but to step aside for the lowly human. And when it flops, we are devastated and cry,
“Oh God, Why did you do this to me?” Then obviously, God would ask,
“What, did I do?” Well we won’t hear it. We blame God for our difficulties. But He just looks from heaven and nods His head resignedly, not knowing what to do, then He in His different ways of reaching us, gives us hints and messages and sometimes shouts to us from the roof tops. “Come On! Have faith in me. Ask Me.” But pitily our, hearts are stunted to all His pleas. Do you know why? Because, we are not used to hearing the inner voice- the voice of God. For that we should spare some time to be silent.
To know, we have a voice inside, the best way is to come to a deserted cross road in a very alien place, the first question that comes to mind is, “Which road should I take?” That is when we hear the voice, “This road, take it.” But we are we, very doubtful Thomases. We deny that answer and take our way and fall into the ditch. So in order to avoid it, Jesus told us to have mustard faith. Surrender everything to the almighty.
Imagine, if you have mustard faith, then what are the advantages? The mustard when sown in a fertile soil, grows to become a tree - a mustard tree. Its so huge and vast, that the birds, several of them just roost in it, uninvited. Do you know, the speciality of birds? It would keep the tree insect free, and gives the tree company. Its widespread roots prevent it from falling during Wind, storm or earth quake.  Height wise, it’ll be closer to the sky.  So in human heart, the mustard faith sprouts and grows to make us an invincible force to reckon with. All the best in life automatically happens to you, which we call graces of God. You don’t have to ask anything to God, He’ll give it to you voluntarily.
In the movie, “Babies Day Out.” I was really surprised by the way, the baby reaches each of the destination,  such precision and timing, it was a nail biting experience. That is what Jesus is asking, A total Abandon. That is the fun of living. “Once I asked God, to stop the sun set until I reach my destination.” That was my way of asking, from my little thinking. And when I reached there, not only did the sun set, but it was so dark, that I couldn’t see my hand connected to my body. Anyway God didn’t leave me stranded. We all know, He holds the timing (nick of time) and the goal. He gave me the perfect light to reach home – the moon and a cyclerickshawalla. I reached my place, safely and without casualties. He surely has some weirdest ways to help. But one thing be sure. “He would Help. Never Ever Doubt It.” In short, have “The Mustard Faith.”
Meena






Friday, September 30, 2011

Anger - A Power to Reckon


 
            Yesterday, while I was travelling by bus, I saw a barking dog following a rag picker. He was trying to chase it with a stick, but to no avail. The dog barked and barked and the man waved his stick at it. Then the man got so angry, that he threw his stick at the dog so hard that I, seeing the expression on the man’s face and the muscle strength of his hands which was visible, made me flinch involuntarily.
            At that moment, there were people around, as it was a bus stop and I could see only a part of the bus stop. So there was a mother and son, who was standing there. They didn’t even know that a scene was going on behind them. I felt I was watching a black and white movie, a movie of contrasts. One side anger and the other side peace.
            So what makes anger? Why do we get angry? To be frank, I’m not an expert in talking about this, but one thing I know, even I too had a phase when I used to get angry, very fast. For man, there are numerous emotions for different occasions, and now-a-days anger is the reigning emotion, in the whole wide world. Due to anger, people kill each other. Its so extreme an emotion that it is high time we analyzed the facts that activates the switch of anger.
            Anger is an emotion which is generated when we are faced with what we hate to see (like harassing the weak by the strong), feel (like the unfairness of the circumstances) or hear (Like when someone says No when we really expected a Yes badly). We feel its natural, but actually, it is not natural. It is an anomalous emotion, which is an acid, that burns our whole soul, then it goes on to burn the mind, body and ultimately the society.
            In life, the anger starts when the child gives his first cry after birth, the moment when he is woken up from the cocoon of his mother’s womb. We would say, its an inevitable gesture to awaken the child. Its true, but this is the first gesture in a saga of actions. When baby, they show the anger by crying, then they start throwing things and shouting at others, then that passes towards his adolescence, youth and it floods to the full grown person. But when old age sets in, most of the anger gets evaporated. Then they become the famous Mona Lisa for every problem. They face life with the famous smile, the oldies can face any manner and no retribution of any sort towards the angry person.
So now we know, that the young has something more and extra which the old hasn’t and they are more happy and at peace with themselves without it. The time of life to enjoy is when we are young and when we are full grown, but the life which we have has been immersed in is so full of anger, either towards the parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbours, society and the whole world that there is no vision above that. Then in return we are left with – a framework of a human being with no personality. The lustre of life is gone. The brightness in the eyes has dulled. The ambition to live is gone leaving behind just a nuclear bomb, ready to detonate with anybody.
            In my feeling, there are many root causes for anger but the biggest cause is our ego. According to the American Heritage dictionary, Ego is the pride in oneself; self-esteem. In psychoanalysis, ego is the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behaviour, and is most in touch with external reality.
When we have an ego, we are prone to get angry fast. But for the old, they have had their share of battering to their ego that they left it on the way as the years passed by. So naturally, they have no reason to get angry.
            I hope you understood the name of the machine, which makes us angry – Our Ego. To be frank, can I pass a news? For me too, Its breaking news. Lucky are the people who knew this earlier. If someone had told me, before, my life would have been a lot easier. But who has the patience to hear the lecture? Since we have a fight to win, don’t we?
                        So now we know that we get angry, when our self esteem is knocked or nicked, our ego naturally responds. It comes out as anger. But in the long run when we become aware of this excessive entity in our system, the only thing we can do is don’t allow it to come it to the fore, channelize it to some creative area. I have heard a story of a person who became a famous dancer. Her both parents were dancers and she had been studying dance from childhood. But she didn’t like it an iota. But her parents forced her to do it. So she started dancing to express her anger and later she was so frustrated that she started dancing whenever she got angry and she put her whole mind in the act that, all those who saw her dance were awed. So one day, somebody recorded her dance secretly, and showed her. Seeing her expressions, the perfection in her gestures and the co-ordination in movements, this was her own making, that the dancer herself was awed. Then she knew, that the dance was her calling, because it was in her blood. Then she channelized all her energy into this art form that she became famous. So anger can be utilised for the good.
Man is capable of conquering the unconquerable and utilising it for his use. We all know that we utilise the nuclear material to electrify cities and countries, the waves of seas and oceans , winds of all directions, sunlight, etc. are being utilised for the best of mankind. These things are all nature’s fury but we have harnessed it. If left unattended they can really harm human race and a waste too. That is what anger does to  our lives too. It can harm not only ours but also other’s lives too. The consequences of anger are far reaching. The words used, is far worse than actions. They are unforgettable.  So don’t be angry. Channelize your anger to areas which you fear to tread. That would be the thrill of living.
OK, come on guys, why don’t we plan an expedition to the SUN?
Take care and be happy.
Meena





Monday, September 26, 2011

Criticism


        Criticism, is the act or an instance of making an unfavourable or severe judgment, comment, etc. It is not a very good experience, to always take the brunt of criticism. When I first heard, that there is a profession to criticize, I was really shocked because when someone was criticized in school, home, within friends circle, I had felt very bad about it. I really didn’t like that situation. So I usually do not get into mischief. But in life we cannot grow, without being criticized because we are not perfect. At that time, I felt very very bad, but later I knew that if I had not been criticized, then I wouldn’t have known, that a flaw really existed in me.
            But when I started writing, I really felt, if there was anyone who could help me, by looking my flaws, in my writing, then I could have improved it. But there wasn’t anyone because I had not published it anywhere except my blog and my blog is a place where only my friends who has time to visit, read it. Then I knew the value of a critic. A good critic can produce great works and he can also break it too.
            When constructive criticism continues and continues, it cross the line of control then it extends itself to a slow destruction, ultimately, a death of a soul who receives it. When that happens, better conclude that the critic has a problem either with the author or with himself. What did he earn with it? Self satisfaction? It’s a sadistic behaviour from the part of the critic, isn’t it?
            I, in my life had a critic, a critic, who always criticized me from dawn to dusk. Whatever, he criticized, I tried to correct it and then he will have another thing to criticize, again I would correct it, it happened again and again I made sure, that I don’t repeat the same mistake. After repeated criticisms, I knew I cannot tolerate this torrent of criticism and I came to the resolution, that I am not going to be destructed by this person and he is not going to control my life. The funny part is, when I am away from his presence, wherever I am, I’m the best, only when I’m with him, I am the worst, then I knew the problem was not mine. I tried to hear all the criticism, then I selected, which I felt was genuine and corrected it. But criticism and criticism and criticism do really get into the nerves, I used to think, God, why were these critics born? I feel they are the people who think they have no flaws? Well, I don’t know, because, I am not flawless, I make mistakes, and it is good to say, “I’m sorry”. But when we have only this thing to say, the whole part of the day, then the value of the word is just lost, the genuineness of the feeling is gone. We do not feel anything. Never bother to acknowledge whatever they say. The person has been deprived of the little hope of being good due to constant criticism, a hope to live, like live happily ever after. Then we just live. Life would take a back turn. Thinking, its better to reverse our vehicle and just go the other direction, even if we have neared the goal.
            I learned my lesson in life, Never Criticise. In life, we can be an angel to our fellow beings, when we help them to show the way, with good words and loving suggestions and nsot criticism. They would value it. It is priceless. It is not only a virtue but also a triumph over ourselves. We have become the beacon for a fellow being and in turn, we learn a lesson from them too.
 Criticism should be a beacon and not a wild fire. Criticism should be life and not death. And the person, who criticizes, should have awareness, that he is not above God. God is the only person, who can judge us. So if you are planning to judge others, make sure that you are flawless in your way. Since, that would be difficult, you can give suggestions and advice and not criticism, because, it’s not worth all the heart ache, it generates.
Take care and Be Happy
Meena

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Forget Not The Path You Have Tread


I remember a story about Hansel and Gretel, being lost in the forest, because, they forgot the path they had come, due to darkness. We all at one time or other, do lose our ways, but when we come to know, that we have really lost our way, then the lightning would strike our heart, asking the question, “Now what?”
            Usually, kids are guided by elders. When they move around, they hold hands, so that the child doesn’t get lost, in the maze of ways and people. This path gets imprinted in the mind each time they take the same way. Then even if it’s midnight they are not frightened to walk the same way for fear of being lost.
            In life too, we have this path. We reach the goal through this path. A path where there were lots of people, lots of mile stones, monuments in life. But when we reached the goal, we forget everything, all these people and milestones since we  reached home safely, and what is there to think about? Its not a big deal. 
When we were kids we have been inculcated to have a goal in life and when the goal is reached, we say that we have become successful. But have we really succeeded?
            Yes, we have really succeeded, but how did we do it? With the help of the people and experiences. Life has taught  certain lessons on the road to the goal. When goal is reached, its finished, but actually, its just the beginning of a life which lay ahead. We are not yet finished with life when we reach our goal. Goals start for every human being from birth onwards – The first milestone – the first cry, The second one – the first smile, then the next and it goes on and on. But, have you thought, how many people were there when we were born? How many hands were there to take us? How many mouths were there to sing a lullaby? And from there starts a saga of milestones, people, experiences.
These people gave the most essential luster to our life. These experiences (good or bad) bring a maturity to our decision. These milestones mark our route to success. So can we forget all these in one go when we reach the ultimate goal? I hope not, we have been moulded as an individual from the path we followed.
I would like to say a story which my mom told when I was young - The story which stuck in my heart, which I never failed to pass at every opportunity I got – “The story of a thief”.
A thief murdered a man while stealing. The flash back of the story was thus, When the thief was just a boy, he used to pick things from his friends bag, neighbour’s house, from wherever he had opportunity to take and his mother never scolded him even once, instead, she encouraged her son, to steal. Ultimately he became a full-fledged thief.
So during his last attempt at stealing, he had to kill a man. The judge sentenced him to death. While he was being sentenced to death, the thief thought about his past and when the judge asked his last wish, he requested to see his mother. As expected, his mother arrived and she cried and spoke emotionally. But the son was not moved. He said, “Mother, I have a secret, which I want you to know.” The mother eagerly went near his son and strained her ear towards her son, lo and behold! he bit a piece of his mother’s ears. She shrieked with pain. He said, “If you had at least  said just once“No” or scolded me or beat me, I would not have been here. This is a lesson, every mother should learn, when they rear their children, Teach them, scold them, correct them, when they do wrong, but the result should be, 'make them good citizens'.”
I do not know whether this story is true or false but it teaches one thing, the people around us and the experience we have with them do have a great role in our being an individual, in moulding our personality. We should acknowledge it at every turn of our life. That is when we make ourselves invincible to others.
As Jawaharlal Nehru told his daughter Priyadarshini in one of his letters, (Discovery Of India) “Each pebble we see has a story to say,” “It’s the same thing, regarding our life too. Each action, every nuance of our expression, every turning point, do have a story to tell.” Cherish it, Never Forget It. It’s with this experience that we become matured - A Complete Person. Respect the people who helped you in growing. Help them when they need it from you. Their blessing is your stepping stone to success. In short, “Forget Not The Path You Have Tread”, you would need it in future – with a new insight.

Take Care & Be Happy.
Meena

Friday, September 23, 2011

Be A Teacher At Least Once

          
               Teachers are the masters, who mould the young minds irrespective of caste, creed, colour and stature. That is a known fact, but I knew the value of being a teacher when a child was scolded in public for his mistake, (which had been repeatedly warned), by a teacher without any inhibition of thinking the child being hurt or what others would think. In that audience, there was an advocate and a social worker, they all sat there thunder struck. The teacher, was just a lower primary teacher and she had only half a year of experience with the teaching profession, she is a very soft spoken personality who has a smiling contour, but when she scolded the child, no wonder, everyone just went dumb. Then I knew, the value of having an experience as a teacher.
But how would an advocate or a social worker or people of other professions other than teachers know, how a child’s mind works? They have experience with only grown up people, they consider persons as a human being which is categorized from baby to old man in the same manner but, even a young animal should be trained, only then he can understand, the difference between with words of love and words of reprimand, then they would be fit for the society.
Never postpone anything regarding a child, even if it is a present or a promise or a reprimand, we should do it at the right time. That is the psychology of kids, only then they will respond to us or else don’t bother to correct them, they will ignore you, then you know what will happen to your kid a wasteful person. Do you know how difficult it is to train a wild horse when old. That is the same with the children, give the necessary training in all facets of life, irrespective of what the child would feel, when young and they have the caliber to change, be moulded and above all grow to become a very good citizen. That is the important facet which is necessary in a person - A Good Character.

            The story that brought out this article was, we had two problematic children, who was always naughty, first time they were told nicely, lovingly, that what they did was wrong, etc..etc.. They heard it and didn’t bother to keep a good stance even for a week, when they became problematic the very next week, they were not scolded. The elders loved them again lavishly, showering them with gifts, taking them everywhere, and then when they overstepped the naughtiness a young teacher responded without thinking that they were using the technique of correcting them with love. But anyway, it was effective, they were much better children.
We all think corporal punishment is not good for any living beings, but I feel, if the children don’t understand after explaining to them in different ways,  then the last step is, we overstep the line of control, scold then the next step is corporal punishment,which we have drawn as the final way for correcting the child.
I am a teacher and a mother too, for me the worst thing I cannot tolerate is, scolding and punishing. It really changes the bodily system of mine, the atmosphere of the home and the school. I feel bad about it. But if I don’t have choice, I give only one thrash, which he should know, that he got it for a genuine cause. As the saying goes, “Spare the Rod and Spoil The Child”.  I have felt, my students were the best kids in school. They know, that I do not harass them with harsh words or stick, and so they love me. Whenever I’m in town or wherever they see me, they come and speak to me, that is the gift of showing the children, the right path, being a teacher. If they are corrected properly, if they are shown the right path, they will love you life long, they will thank you lifelong. A teacher is committed to do it. The children would never criticize you afterwards, saying, “It was because, you beat me or you scolded me, miss, my life got spoiled.”
But one thing we should take care of is, never harass the kids for each and everything, then they get fed up of us, only when really necessary, step out of the cocoon of pampering. Only if you feel that  he is continuing in the wrong path. Otherwise, I’d say, I’m also against harsh words and corporal punishment, because they too have to enjoy life, they too have the right to live peacefully and completely, Just like us.
Anyway, I’ll pass a secret, I was grown up with many thrashing and scolding and I’m sure, my parents too, had rowed the same boat and I have never felt that, they had any psychological problems. So it’s a necessity in this day and age to help the children grow with difficulties and burdens, only then they would be responsible citizens, fit to live in the society or else, we can see that they are in the gallows or an ally of a terrorist outfit. So please do not save your child by taking the brunt of all his actions and needs. Be a teacher, when he becomes naughty and be courageous to stand up to him and say “No”, You are not correct, you should rectify it.” Only then he will respect you. He is eligible for your respect, for that you should guide him when young. A teacher is a person who is courageous to speak out when wrong. He is a guide to show the right path to the children. He is a friend who lends his shoulder to burden our fears and sorrows. He is also human.
So be a teacher at least once in a kid's life and do respect teachers, they really are an asset to the society. They are the people who mould the budding society.

And I with all my love and respect, bow to all my teachers who really helped me grow to become a good human being. Thank You My Dearest Teachers.

Take Care and Be happy
Meena
             

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Right Job

             

  We are in an age where we give the children a free hand in selecting their professions, the courses they need to study, the future they plan to select and  the parents just had to open the wallet and pay, nothing more. That was what I was thinking until today, when I met a girl who was studying for the entrance of Civil Services Preliminaries.
            I was real awed, because I had spoken and worked with lots of IAS officers and the like but not a fledgling, aspiring civil servant. So I asked her, what made her decide to select this job? She said, "Actually, I didn't  have any idea about my future profession, what I should opt for." So after her degree, she went for a retreat and they guided them to opt for the civil services according to the Intelligent Quotient test conducted. And then too, she didn’t know, what she was involving herself into. But now after studying so much in the coaching centre and being with other students and previous candidates involved in this she started liking the profession. But the “started” part stuck in me. How can one start to love a profession? Shouldn’t it be in there? She wrote the entrance test and failed the first time and she is planning to do it one more time, if she fails, then she would return to her native place and study for a Post Graduate course. That too no idea what to do.  I was really shocked, when I saw a girl’s life being squandered because she hadn’t been guided properly. It was really a sad situation.
            It should have been done when very young. The parents and teachers are responsible for moulding the right aim in a child and a confidence to reach whatever goals they set could be fulfilled.
 Aims are not set just anywhere or for anything. In the beginning we have to give conquerable goals for the child and when they overcome it, their confidence grows. Then the goals should be set higher and higher, and according to the aptitude you feel would be suitable to the child’s talent.  Ultimately the child feels that he can conquer any goals and he would have aims and ambitions in life.
It is easy to pamper your child, life long, but for how long? That is what you should think. You are the masters who ruin the child’s life, because you don’t let the children go at the right time. Let them grow on their own, they need just a push or a restraining hand and not a palanquin bearer of you. And you know what the child would do to the palanquin bearer? Make you bear (carry) him lifelong. So before you fulfill your duties to your kids, I would like to give you an advice (to the parents). Be the guide, make your children be the best, by letting them have a free hand in their decision making, correcting them when necessary, guiding them when they are lost. Then you wouldn’t have to worry for them when you rely on the walking stick, or else, you would have no peace even when you are in the grave.
            The profession they select should be what their heart feels happy about, the subject they love, the field they are comfortable with. You might be outdated in the new professional courses, but you know your child. You can ask them the basic three questions before they select a profession:-
1.     Which subject do you love?
2.     Which activity makes you happy?
3.     Which place of activity do you like to be? (hospitals, IT, Social work, etc..)
Then you would get an idea of your child’s aptitude, then get the help of their teacher, she would have some suggestions, then we can search through the internet or through an educational counselor. Get minimum two to three options, when you select professional courses. Go deep into the options, like study the advantages, disadvantages, talk to the people who are working in the jobs in the presence of your child and then give your child the opportunity to select whichever, they feel comfortable and then, make sure that they set heart not in just one option but two.
                   
             Do you know why?  When the first option flops, he doesn’t have any goals in life to reach, which makes him lose heart in life, They would think, “I had an aim, I tried to reach it, but I didn’t get it, then what to do? I’m just roaming about, and good for nothing .” To avoid that, it’s better to ingrain in him at least two to three options.
 We all know, that no aim is unconquerable, but circumstances, do lend a hand in our failure to reach the goal. So it’s high time, the parents knew, that just procreating, giving food, dress, shelter and education is not the only duty you have. Make your child the best and let not somebody else decide the future of your kids. Help them and guide them till the very end, until the very time when they leave you to live on their own. That is the time you should be gratified, that you have fulfilled your duty in your child’s life.
So parents, open your hearts and just give only your forefinger for your toddler, so that he knows, how much care he is entitled from you. Then he would earn the rest.


Bye, take care and be happy.
Meena